You know how it is when you're lying in bed, desperate for a snack, but there's nary a thing on Seamless to satisfy your craving? Now, with the click of a button, you can fill that bed with crumbs from Thin Mints, Tagalongs, Trefoils, Do-si-dos, and yes, Samoas. You can have a box of every single Girl Scout brand cookie there is via Amazon Prime, according to UpRoxx. The Internet is celebrating appropriately.
Sons a bitches, you can now order Girl Scout cookies on Amazon Prime! 👏🏽🙏🏽🤜🏽🤛🏽🤘🏽🙌🏽🤙🏽✊🏽— Almanza (@Almanza130) April 5, 2017
amazon just suggested girl scout cookies as something i may like, and i'm not sure i've ever felt more understood— Dallas Ann (@miss_knierman) March 14, 2017
WOO HOO! Incredible! Too good to be true! Oh, wait, it is. These cookies are not vetted or approved by the Girl Scouts of the USA organization. A representative told Mashable, "We caution against purchases of Girl Scout Cookies found for sale online at auction and via community list sites, such as eBay and Amazon, because GSUSA, your local Girl Scout council, and our licensed cookie bakers cannot guarantee the freshness or integrity of these cookies. In many instances, these cookies are actually expired."
Nooooooo! Well, first of all, I'm not going to pretend that I believe cookies can "expire." While no cookie has ever lasted long enough in my apartment to get even slightly stale, I can't imagine I would mind eating crushed dust in a box if it was Thin Mint flavored.
But the point about not knowing where the money is going is a problem. Another rep from Girl Scouts spoke with NY Mag, explaining that cutting out the middle girls also cuts out lots of benefits for the program. "Well, the Girl Scout cookie program is a financial literacy tool for girls," the rep told NY Mag, "We’re trying to help them learn, and for them to do that, they have to be the ones doing the selling, interacting with a customer (either online or in person), making the change, learning the skills. Buying the cookies through Amazon is giving people access to cookies without access to Girl Scouts, which undercuts the programmatic element."
I'm begging u. Please don't buy Girl Scout cookies from Amazon. Buy them from a Girl Scout. I'm a former GS & leader & I'm so upset by this.— Pebbles (@PebblesBoston) April 3, 2017
Dang, this is a dilemma. On the one hand, I want what I want immediately without any human interaction involved. On the other hand, I want young girls to learn how to make money. The rep also told NY Mag that in a way this cookie turnover is like scalping—at some point these cookies were sold by the Girl Scouts org, so they've already made the sale.
But the sellers on Amazon are increasing the price and making a profit on shut-in consumers. So, you can make your own moral decision about buying from Amazon by picturing how you feel about getting tickets from scalpers, except imagine a bunch of tweens crying every time you click "buy."