Do you have that cute little zodiac tattoo on your ankle or behind your ear? Did you begin your morning by reading that this is the year to come out of your shell and be assertive to find love and professional success? Have you ever rolled your eyes and said "that's such an Aries thing to do"?
If you answered 'yes' to any of the above, we have some bad news for you.
Your whole existence is a lie because NASA ruined everything and informed us that there are actually 13 constellations in the Zodiac — not 12.
FYI, the "new" constellation, which has been around forever but evaded common knowledge, is called Ophiuchus. The Babylonians discovered it but had settled on a 12-month calendar by the time they found a 13th constellation, so they just left it out.
By the way, the groundbreaking information comes from "The Space Place," NASA's kid-friendly, educational website. And it has some information that shakes things up a little:
An article about astrology and constellations explains that zodiac signs were made up 3,000 years ago by the Babylonians, who paired them with the constellations they saw. But, in the thousands of years since then, the position of the constellations has changed, due to the Earth 'wobbling' on its axis.
So, the constellations are no longer in the same spots they once were.
So, what does this mean for your horoscope?
Well, if your birthday falls between November 29 and December 17, say hello to your new sign.
People born under Ophiuchus allegedly seek peace and harmony, are poetic and inventive, and thirst for knowledge. They also have secret enemies in their close circles... Damn.
Oh, and this also means that the other star signs will have shifted a bit as well....
This kind of Earth-shattering change did not go over well with Twitter.
My reaction when I found out my zodiac sign will be changed pic.twitter.com/AoYI5P7va7— Charlie (@unfussybonsai) September 16, 2016
I'm gonna need an official statement from nasa because this zodiac sign rumor change is physically hurting me pls and thx— senja (@itssenjaa) September 16, 2016
now that the zodiac signs have shifted their dates drastically, I feel like my life has been a lie with not being an Aries anymore....— kiera hood (@kierahood) July 24, 2016
apparently nasa discovered a new zodiac sign which shifted all the dates over, sorry to everyone who got cute zodiac tattoos..— b (@BiancaaJasiak) September 17, 2016
How can we trust NASA with these new zodiac signs when they couldnt decide if Pluto was a planet or not— J (@Jayando_) September 18, 2016
So apparently NASA decided to change everybody's zodiac signs RIGHT AFTER I got my Aries tattoo lmao love my life— Larissa Creighton (@larisscreighton) September 17, 2016
I dont really believe in zodiac sign stuff but oh my god i am not a Capricorn, @NASA, it's just not happening.— margaux (@angeliquefaithx) September 17, 2016
If you want to go back and get the ~accurate~ information, here's an updated list of horoscopes from Modern Astrologers:
• Capricorn: Jan 20 – Feb 16
• Aquarius: Feb 16 – March 11
• Pisces: March 11 – April 18
• Aries: April 18 – May 13
• Taurus: May 13 – June 21
• Gemini: June 21 – July 20
• Cancer: July 20 – August 10
• Leo: August 10 – September 16
• Virgo: September 16 – October 14
• Libra: October 14 – November 23
• Scorpio: November 23 – November 29
• Ophiuchus: November 29 – December 17
• Sagittarius: December 17 – January 20
Let's be clear — NASA is not actually responsible for any changes in your horoscope, nor are they endorsing astrology as a science.
And it seems they're a little salty about the recent wave of less-than-accurate publicity. "We didn’t change any Zodiac signs, we just did the math,"NASA spokesperson Dwayne Brown Brown told Gizmodo. "The Space Place article was about how astrology is not astronomy, how it was a relic of ancient history, and pointed out the science and math that did come from observations of the night sky."
We get it NASA, you do real space science.
...BRB, trying to accept this new 'Pisces' bullsh*t.