Growing up Muslim, I never celebrated Christmas. Never kept a tree in my house, or woke up to a bunch of wrapped gifts downstairs. We didn’t believe in Santa or leave cookies out for a bearded stranger. Unless you count my great-grandfather who sported a badass beard of his own, but he was hardly a stranger. And he capped it at one cookie because of diabetes. So yeah, no Christmas for us.
But just because my family didn’t partake in the Yuletide festivities, doesn’t mean I don’t know a beautiful Christmas tree when I see one.
And these Christmas trees are no beauties. These Christmas trees are sad. These trees need to be taken out of the house immediately. I’d rather have no tree than these trees.
To the left to the left.
IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
Hope you saved the receipt.
Even the picture's slanted.
It's like a clown barfed on a twig.
At least it smells nice...if artificial pine cleaner is your idea of nice.
"Well we eat a lot of eggs, and we can't afford a tree. Hmmmmm....."
Batman and compact discs. A winning combination.
Someone has a cat in the house.
What the hell is this trying to be?
It's a gag, but that top part of the tree's still pretty sad looking.
This is probably the same guy who never takes the plastic off his laptop.
We get it. You're an alcoholic. No need to literally celebrate it.
That baby looks like it's crying for a cigarette.
Minimalism at its worst.
Such a tasteful decoration for your tree.