George Carlin once said, “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” It's a quote that I always think about whenever I wonder how something so stupid could possibly exist.
Why do we have so many warning labels? Why do the news anchors feel like they need to explain things I already know? Why do advertisements work so hard to convince me to buy things I already know I need? That's why I'm in the store, after all. The answer is that there are people out there who need these things.
Even so, I can't imagine anyone needs to hear the following things. But then again, someone probably does.
1. I'm going to test this just to be sure.
2. Aww. I wanted to see a ghost.
4. You know what? I think this one might be necessary.
5. Clearly someone has never seen Lord of the Rings.
6. Is that how that works?
7. Wow. Who would have guessed?
8. Can someone point me in the direction of the bananas with bones?
10. Right. And when would that be?
12. That isn't an average. That's the exact thing you said.
13. I thought it would have been much earlier than that.
14. I know. I was the one who took them out.
15. Were they looking for something else?
16. Okay. I'll just smash my head elsewhere.
17. You mean it's in stock?
19. What's the other part?
20. Personally, I like overpaying for things.
21. It may. It is not a guarantee.
23. If I was unemployed, this is not what I'd want to hear.