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This Is What The '80s Billy Joel Cover Band's Set List At The Catalina Wine Mixer Would've Been

If you're looking for the premiere 1980's Billy Joel cover band, then you'd be doing yourself a disservice from hiring anyone other than the emphatic Uptown Girl.

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Uptown Girl has been giving out amazing performances of exclusively 1980s Billy Joel hits for years, leaving thousands (cumulatively) of fans who understood that they only play Billy Joel's songs from the 1980s.

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There was a particularly embarrassing incident at the Catalina Wine Mixer where one intoxicated audience member who may or may not have been under the influence of illegal substances refused to acknowledge that Uptown Girl only plays 1980s Billy Joel. His persistence in agitating Uptown Girl by choosing to ignore that the band exclusively plays 1980s Bill Joel hits unfortunately forced the band to exit the stage and cut its set list short. 

Uptown Girl fully acknowledges this sad event occurred, but if you watch the following footage, you'll see it's of no fault of the band's.

Uptown Girl maintains that the other attendees of the Catalina Wine Mixer, barring the one drunken idiot who clearly has a vendetta against the musical stylings of 1980s Billy Joel, had a pleasant experience and  welcome them to enjoy future Uptown Girl performances.

The band would like to take this opportunity to present the entire set list they had planned for the Catalina Wine Mixer that fine afternoon.

1. You May Be Right.

We would've gotten to this glorious track if it wasn't for that absolute moron.

2. Don't Ask Me Why.

A very fitting song title, considering this is my response whenever someone asks why we were kicked out of the Catalina Wine Mixer. I think I've made it clear, already.

3. It's Still Rock And Roll To Me

I mean, the nerve of him to say '80s Joel sucks. What the hell does he know?

4. Sometimes A Fantasy

Not going to lie, sometimes I fantasize about ramming my first into that loud-mouthed douche's face and breaking that champagne flute and jamming it in his neck.

5. Allentown

This song might be about the declining steel industry, which makes me think about smelting that drunk fart-face in one of those huge vats like he's T-1000.

6. Laura

Maybe that scumbag's whore of a wife was named Laura. I often find myself thinking that as I lay in bed. I wish I could've sang this beautiful song and she would realize that the lyrics weren't about her - that no one would serenade her and her life married to an idiot was all in vain. I hope she thinks about that late at night as she accepts that her entire life has and will be steeped in misery.

7. Pressure

Oh, you mean like the spike in hypertension I got when dealing with those idiots at the Catalina Wine Mixer? YEAH I CAN TOTALLY RELATE. THESE IDIOTS MISSED OUT ON THE PERFORMANCE OF A LIFETIME BECAUSE I WOULD'VE BEEN DEALING WITH SOME REAL S**T IF I GOT A CHANCE TO SING  THIS.

8. Goodnight Saigon

Life in a Deer Hunter vietcong prison camp would've been too good for that dingus.

9. The Longest Time

For the longest time...I'll remember what that man took from me. I will never forget.

10. Tell Her About It

You get that this could've been the band's big break, right? There were people there who were digging us, man.

11. Keeping The Faith

I mean when are people going to realize that every song Billy Joel sang in the '80s was absolutely brilliant?!

12. Uptown Girl

I mean we named our band after this track...this son of a b**ch didn't even let us get to the f***ing song our band is named after. He took that away from us.

13. Modern Woman

I mean '80s Joel is all I have.

14. A Matter Of Trust

If we stop playing '80s Joel, then what is Uptown Girl? What the hell am I even doing on this planet?

15. Baby Grand

These technically even aren't my songs...why do I have such an allegiance to them? Why do I so passionately cover them?

16. Storm Front

Like technically Storm Front was released in 1989 so it just makes the cut off, but it got all of its awards in 1990. Is that what my life is based off of? A bunch of arbitrary rules? A single decade of Billy Joel music and that defines my band, a cover band no less, and the livelihoods and existences of me and my band members? Should I even continue with this set list? Maybe we should just throw all of our instruments in a pile right in that same spot in Catalina and drag that moronic individual who started me down this path of self doubt and roast him over the fire of our musical instruments as we cackle in delight. Maybe that will quell this constant nagging question in the back of my head. Maybe I can finally sleep.

17. We Didn't Start The Fire

Uptown Girl is available for bookings at your next bat mitzvah, wedding, school dance, prom, get together, or celebration! Check out our facebook.

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