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First Date Locations Guaranteed Not To Get You A Second One

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately and I've been struggling to come up with places to have them. I always settle on a bar and that seems to be fine, but I'd like to show I'm more creative than that.

The thing is, though, there is not really another good place to have a first date. You could go to a restaurant, but that just seems like a bar with more choices. You could go to the movies, but you'll probably end up at a bar afterwards. You could go to the park, but you will eventually get thirsty and find yourself at the bar. 

And while it might seem like all roads lead to bars, there are certain places that will guarantee your relationship won't last long enough to make it to the bar. 

Try to find a place fancier than her yard.
But it is so hard for him to get around.
Lots of problems with this one...
Whatever happened before sounds fun?
Yeah, at least go to a restaurant.
Does she work there?
You're better off going after the date.
No one looks sexy eating spaghetti.
Could serve as a reminder that it is time to settle.
A cruise is a bad idea in general.
This is more of a second date kind of thing, no?
That song gets old real quick.
One of you is going to leave feeling hurt.
Parallel dimension sounds fun, though.
At least sit down someplace...
She always wanted you to end up with someone.
Already there.
There's nothing to do there.
Who's acting jealous now?
Never order food on a first date.
That's why it is called having a crush.
Look at all the fun we are having!
This is forward, don't you think?
Can't take a break from recruiting.
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