Kids are weird. Every parent has a massive collection of bizarre stories that they're more than happy to share on social media. Jimmy Fallon recently put out a call for stories that their kids will come to regret in a decade or so, and shared the best in front of millions of people on The Tonight Show.
“One of the kids in my class came out of the bathroom and quietly said to himself, ‘Well that hurt…’”
Not enough for you? Here are some of the best that weren't featured in the video...
My son pooped on his brother's shoulder because he "was a parrot" #MyKidIsWeird— Coach Nick Russo (@nruss0) March 30, 2016
Every time I'm in the bathroom, she sits outside the door singing, "Elsa, please, I know you're in there..." #MyKidIsWeird— Glenn (@Glenn_Ashley) March 30, 2016
Asked my kids what they wanted to be when they grew up.— Gina Denny (@ginad129) March 30, 2016
9yo: a chef
7yo: a fireman
6yo: the eye of Sauron. #MyKidIsWeird
Last Christmas, my seven year old son asked for a poster of Guy Fieti for his room to "keep the monsters away." #MyKidIsWeird— Kristen Rose (@KristenRose124) March 30, 2016
On Mother's Day my 6 year old daughter gave me nothing but a handmade card that said, "My present to you is forgiveness." #MyKidIsWeird— Kristen Rose (@KristenRose124) March 30, 2016
For years, my nephew refused to wear socks because they were puppet bodies. #MyKidIsWeird— Tim Drake (@timdrake) March 30, 2016
#MyKidIsWeird he wears his batman shirt inside out so batman is closer to his heart— John Rivera (@itsmejohne) March 30, 2016
My friend's teenage step daughter likes to prank him by going on a bus and suddenly point at him and yell "Who is this man?!" #MyKidIsWeird— Ed Hill (@kingedhill) March 30, 2016