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17 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

The truth isn't always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

01
University bans phrases such as 'mankind' and 'gentleman's agreement' in favour of gender-neutral terms.

I wonder if that movie, She's The Man will be banned in the future?

02
More than 100 diners flee Spanish restaurant without paying
View post on imgur.com

"They can't make all of us wash dishes in the back!"

03
Woman poisoned husband's cereal to avoid sex, say police.

Obviously this is a terrible crime, but how bad was that sex?

04
Cards Against Humanity creator to bombard senator's office with potatoes

Senators are crazy with their low-carb diets, that'll really get them.

05
Amazon broke the internet with a typo.

I forgive them, if I can get 6 5lb bags of gummy bears sent to my house in under two days, then they're allowed to break the internet every now and again.

06
Russian MP calls Disney's 'Beauty and the Beast' gay propaganda.
View post on imgur.com

I mean, Gaston is totally a bear, right?

07
Local 5-year-old McDonald's cheeseburger doesn't look a day over 1.
View post on imgur.com

They should package those preservatives into some anti-aging cream or something.

08
Sean Spicer’s tragic fall from grace as White House Easter Bunny.
View post on imgur.com

It's crazy how he's a bigger joke now than he was back then.

09
Pence used personal email for state business — and was hacked.
I knew Mike Pence looked familiar...

This is coming from the same guy who said that Hillary Clinton should be "disqualified" for being President - and her account wasn't hacked.

10
Iowa Republican pushing education reform got his degree from Sizzler.

At least he didn't get it from Golden Corral.

11
Commissioner blames 'those damn chicken nuggets' for drunk driving arrest.

My face when i see 100 McNuggets, I have palate that ranges from Five star cuisine to Junk food

A post shared by Yuda Bustara (@yudabustara) on

THOSE DAMN CHICKEN NUGGETS AT IT AGAIN!

12
Police say they were 'authorized by McDonald's' to arrest protesters, suit claims.

#mayormccheese #hizzoner #politician #mcdonalds #delicious

A post shared by Robert Chaidez (@blobfrombeyond) on

Ahh yes, the unknown but all powerful arm of the legislative branch, headed by Mayor McCheese himself.

13
Sex wearable is coming to track your performance and judge you.

Why it's not called F**kbit is beyond me.

14
Michigan only state that allows police to have sex with prostitutes during investigations.

It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it.

15
Texas Lawmakers Advance Bill That Would Allow Doctors to Lie to Pregnant Women.

Saturday mood 👶🏼❤! (My blog is updated with new posts babes, link in profile) #9months #pregnant

A post shared by Joanna Johansson (@joannajohanssonx) on

Taking that whole patient-doctor confidentiality to the next level.

16
Judge throws drunk driver’s mom in jail for laughing at victim’s family in court.

Out of all the heartless scumbag things to do.

17
67-year-old man dies from heart attack after catching prized Pokemon 'Lapras' at MBS.

よろこびのラプラスハグ #pokemongo #firsttime #lapras

A post shared by Hiromi Kishi (@pirosta) on

People still play Pokemon Go?

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