For the first time in a long time, I actually put a lot of thought behind my Halloween costume this year. So much though, that I didn't order everything I needed off of Amazon until October 26th. Admittedly, that's cutting it really, really close. But thanks to the magic of Prime, I was able to get everything I needed by the Saturday before Halloween.
Sadly, some scumbag wrenched my packages, along with a coffee grinder my wife ordered, right from the front of our house. It kills me to think that somewhere in Northern New Jersey, there's a person wearing my excellent Macho Man Randy Savage ensemble while enjoying a freshly ground up cup of coffee. My only hope is that they say, "Oh yeah!" right before they trip over their Zubaz pants.
Instead, I went as a poor man's Donald Trump - the wig I had looked more like it belonged to Owen Wilson than our current President. So I was forced to sit on the sidelines and look at people with truly incredible costumes and just clench my fists, whispering "next year" to myself. But some of the costumes were truly amazing, so at least I had that going for me, which is nice.
When I say truly amazing, I mean truly amazing. Look at some of these dope costumes. Regular chef? Think again!
Peter Pan and his shadow? Amazing.
Such punny goodness.
Van Gogh they didn't!
Slow clap for the call back. Holy smokes.
Don't trust Cruella, you foolish dalmatians!
Waiter, there's an entire head of hair in my soda.
He's even got candy in the bucket.
Down to the lame dragon shirt.
Obscure but wonderful.
Nice way to separate yourself from all the other clowns.
Don't think I've seen a better Kip.
Oh Kellyanne and Sarah.
Rugrats: All Growed Up.
Even more, perfect.
Because I'm beautiful ba-bay.
Unenthusiastic Wonder Woman.
Tina Belcher is Bob's Burgers as far as I'm concerned.
Take a bow as well as a knee for that costume.
No Leguizamo Tybalt to complete it?!
I just can't quit this costume.
I have no idea what this is but I love it.
Amazing Sharpton reference.
Please don't ever describe Mr. Krabs as "thicc" again but man this is hilarious.
Look what I can do!
Newsroom paywall. This is so meta.
This Zootopia DMV one is just amazing.
As is this Good Burger couples costume.