When it comes down to it, children are basically tiny little demons that you're legally required to take care of. They've been known to say some pretty terrifying stuff from time to time, which is most likely because they really struggle to express their emotions.
Twitter user Mikki Kendall recently decided to ask her followers who spend a lot of time around kids, whether it be parents or teachers, the most worrying things they've heard coming from a kid's mouth.
Prepare to be terrified.
HOW DID SHE KNOW?!
Did you ask her not to be so loud? Have the sight quietly— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) January 28, 2018
She's a robot for sure.
Same girl a year later, watching her climbing a little tree in the yard, falls out. She stands up, arm dangling at unnatural angle. Not a word, not a tear. Freakiest thing I’ve ever seen.— Benjamin L Clark (@BLClark) January 28, 2018
Third? He gets through those moms.
Back in the day my younger brother used to tell us about his “other” grandparents, and the blue house they used to live in.— phenetiks (@phenetiks) January 28, 2018
After always telling him he was making it up he told our mother he could bring her there.
So, we went for a drive...
Another time a young boy told me, "The man in the box told me you listen to sad music."— wapshkankwet (@wapshkankwet) January 28, 2018
They would be born. She pointed to Nov. 28 on the calendar. Sure enough they were born Nov 28, 2012.— J.A. Baum (@random_pirate27) January 28, 2018
Bye, I guess.
My mom went upstairs for a nap. My middle son asked her if she was happy she’d be seeing Jesus soon.— YourFavBlackAuntie (@greendoondoon) January 28, 2018
"Her neck snapped."
I hadn't seen the cat belonging to my neighbor's kid in a few days.— Elizabeth (@RegulatoryHell) January 28, 2018
Me to neighbor's kid: "What happened to your cat?"
Kid: "Her neck snapped."
Also kid: *smiles sweetly*
My two year old son said 'They come for me at night and bring me back by morning time'. When I asked him more, he said 'They do'. And pointed to the sky.— Lisa Campbell 🌈 (@LCLuckiest) January 28, 2018
Well, that's terrifying.
My daughter told me that the “place” she was in before she was born had a bunch of babies waiting to be born. Except they aren’t babies there. “They’re all 5 and they pick their mom and then they go in her tummy”.— Child Support Enthusiast (@BtSquared2) January 28, 2018
“Now you’re stuck with us.”
STOP TALKING TO GHOSTS, KID.
I asked her who told her about my cross and she said “I always knew.” She was staring at a picture on my mom’s dresser. She asked if it was of my grandma who gave me my cross. It was. She said it looks like a lady she saw visit. Grandma passed years before my niece was born.— Dani #DACA #TPS 🇯🇲 (@Dani_Knope) January 28, 2018
She's been dead for two years...
When my daughter was 2 I found her under the table with one of my husband’s old children’s books, turning pages as if she were being read to. I asked her what she was doing. She said “reading with Grandma” my husband’s mother died two years before she was born. It was her book.— Michelle B. Young (@MichelleBYoung1) January 28, 2018
Well, that's awful.
A student told me he was being eaten by bugs. I shrugged it off as him simply making an excuse for not doing his homework. He shows up to school one day with hundreds,maybe thousands of bedbug bites. His mother refused to call an exterminator to remove the bedbugs from their home— Suaine Harris (@SuaineHarris) January 28, 2018
Skin flavor ice cream.
so i ask what flavor?— papa ibeji (@pauly_math) January 28, 2018
he goes "skin"
i'm like "what?"
thinking he said something that sounded like that.
like a real flavor but i just misheard.
he doubles down: "skin"
see those kids out there?
and tells me how he's going to make ICE CREAM OUT OF THEIR SKIN
You ain't ever seen a dead body?
I once asked a friend's son what he was digging for. He responded, "Dead bodies. What? You ain't ever seen a dead body?"— Iced Pound Cake (@ms_chel_ayyye) January 28, 2018
“Smells like God.”
My daughter, from a severe brain injury when she was 11 weeks old, was in a coma for three days. For years afterward, when it rained, she would comment, “Smells like God.”— Erica Mullenix (@freefringes) January 28, 2018
So if you ever wondered what God smells like, you’re welcome.
Well, that's kind of cute.
Not creepy...kind of weird and beautiful. I taught a group of kids that included a little girl who was deaf and received an implant. She loved telling me all the new sounds she discovered. My favorite was that she thought cicadas were the sound the sun made until she saw one.— Leslie J. Anderson (@inkhat) January 28, 2018
It adds flavor.
I was at an amusement park when a random kid said, “people taste better when they squirm,” to his parents but looking at me. Needless to say, I left.— kambesyes (@kambesyes) January 28, 2018
Get away from me, kid.
Subbing a kindergarten class, a little girls walks up, stares at my chest.— Erin Griggs (@Wordslingeuse) January 28, 2018
"You have big boobies. My grandma had big boobies. She's dead now and her boobies are rotting off. Is it almost recess?"
We're not here. Except we are.
I woke up in the night. My 4yo twins standing on the end of my bed.— Shannon Hale (@haleshannon) January 28, 2018
Me: what are you doing?
Them: You don’t see us, Mama.
We’re not here.
"Let me get a knife."
I woke up to 3 yo kid #4 petting my head. I asked what she needed and she said 'i wish i had a piece of you that i could carry with me all the time. like your finger.' Haven't slept soundly since.— marie bourgeois (@mmbtox) January 28, 2018
Walking with my 2-yo in a cemetery by our house. She says “mommy, who is that man in the red jacket by the stone house?” She pointed to a mausoleum. There was no one else in the cemetery. “He’s waving at me!” She waved back. “He’s coming over to talk!”— Kate, But the Tired Version (@Ardeospina) January 28, 2018
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
My baby at 3yrs, told me 'I really miss that time I bought you & your sister those beautiful skirt suits & taught you how to dance with them most of the night' & I went like 😟😟😲 coz that's the best memory I have of my mum and she died 5 years before my baby was born pic.twitter.com/Fc5JPtjn6v— Ciiku Gitonga (@CiikuGitonga) January 28, 2018
When my twins were born one of them took longer to talk. When she did start it was in fluent Spanish. Which we don’t speak at home. Nor does anyone who had come into contact with her at that time.— Sweet Jas Jones (@Jas_O_Mine13) January 28, 2018
My 20-month old son, in a strong British accent, said "Mother, I'm VERY cross with you." We are not British and have no friends with that accent.— Nicole Radziwill (@nicoleradziwill) January 28, 2018
Well, kids are terrifying.