The Winter Olympics in PyeongChang are giving people a brief respite from bad news. We get to see people at the top of their game, living life to the fullest, while dancing on ice or flying over a snow hill. It's beautiful.
People have become particularly obsessed with the young'ns.
At the top of the list are 17-year-olds Chloe Kim and Red Gerard, who both won the gold medal for snowboarding, and whose wholesome teen-ness has been on full display throughout the competition.
Oh and I also had 2 churros today and they were pretty bomb so if you ever get nervous go eat a churro— Chloe Kim (@chloekimsnow) February 11, 2018
They're very cute and relatable. But that relatable quality ends for the vast majority of people when their Olympic accomplishments come up.
SB Nation tweeted that Kim and Gerard are the two youngest snowboarding gold medalists in Olympic history, then asked followers, "What were you doing when you were 17?"
And everyone's responses show why they weren't getting awarded the highest honor in athletics:
I’d love to answer with something other than “masturbating” but the answer is masturbating— Justin Halpern (@justin_halpern) February 13, 2018
Aside from being a nerd and touching themselves, many former teens were enjoying the drugs and alcohol:
Nothing I can describe in mixed company without shaming my ancestors.— Maurice Connolly (@mauxco) February 14, 2018
Though some had more innocent pastimes:
Probably planning to casually drive by Target to stake out my crush.— Kelso (@duenorde) February 13, 2018
Probably struggling to make the transition from MySpace to Facebook.— Tara M ϟ (@TaraFatula) February 13, 2018
Though some are pretty pissed that they're being asked about their accomplishments when they didn't have the leg up Kim and Gerard supposedly did:
Snowboard: $400+— Mike (@mksystem74) February 13, 2018
At least $800 for the gear, then
Jacket ( cause its cold): $100+
Resort fees: $1000+
Day passes: $40+
Lessons: Prices range from $20-200
So, at 17, I was you know, poor.
not having the time or money to train for a meaningless political sporting event that happens every 4 years— Jorts Soros 🌮 (@JortsAuthority) February 13, 2018
Working a full-time job to support my mom and 2 brothers...not a lot of time for games.— Melissa McAvaddy (@MelissaMcAvaddy) February 13, 2018
It's true, we would all be Olympic gold medalists if all things were equal. Except me, because as a teen I hated sports.