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Animal Shelter Writes Hilarious Adoption Ad For Jerk Cat Trying To Find A Home

By Aimee Lutkin

A very naughty cat named Mr. Biggles in Melbourne has risen in fame on the Internet for basically being terrible. That makes perfect sense to me, because as all cat lovers know, we love them because they're awful. That's what makes them such interesting companions. You don't know if your cat is going to bite you or purr until it's too late. The excitement keeps us feeling alive!

Adoption agency Cats Of Melbourne wrote a personal ad for Mr. Biggles because they want him to find the right forever home, and that means total honestly. Perhaps too much honesty, in this case. It reads in part:

Mr Biggles (also known as Lord Bigglesworth) is an utter utter utter bastard. He looks gorgeous with his slinky shiny black fur and big yellow eyes... but beware. If he doesn't like what you're doing he will give you a nip! Sometimes he likes to swipe at your feet too. It just depends on what he can reach at the time.
Mr Biggles does not like to be thwarted. He throws a catty tantrum if he can't go outside when he wants to be let out (and he wasn't allowed outside for the first couple of weeks at his carers house so there was a few tantrums!). Not being fed on time, or allowed to strut across the kitchen benches helping himself to whatever is there is also a tantrum inducing exercise.
Mr Biggles is a despot and dictator, he will let you know he is not happy, which is often because things are often just not up to his high standards. There is some warning that Lord Bigglesworth is displeased with you, his eyes will go dark and tail will start swishing harder. Mr Biggles likes his cuddles on his terms, and will sit in your lap when he decides it's time. If the stroking is not up to his standards, he will nip you. 

Yikes! But it's all worth it, right?