It feels like every apology for sexual abuse sounds the same. Someone who has done unspeakable things to women or men says they're sorry, tries to justify their actions, then expects their lives to return to a semblance of normalcy their victims have been denied. Many high profile people who have been called out have gotten away with just a small apology, laid low for a bit then moved on. All while the victim never gets to forget it.
A great example of this are some of the Hollywood actors most prominently accused of it who have gone on to continue doing what they love. It's a double standard that one woman is wanting to change. These 'apologies' don't mean much beyond making an appeasement to the masses.
One feminist on Twitter, @KateHarding, decided to highlight the ridiculousness of these apologies:
“I am sorry for all the times I stabbed men, just a little, in my previous workplace. After years of counseling, I stopped stabbing men.”— Kate Harding (@KateHarding) October 28, 2017
Has a different ring to it, doesn't it? It opens eyes to how hollow some of the apologies can actually be.
“My childhood was bad, I barely even stabbed them and some of them are liars. But I am truly sorry & will be spending time with my family.”— Kate Harding (@KateHarding) October 28, 2017
Twitter took the baton and ran with it:
“In the 90s, everyone was stabbing men, or chopping off their body parts. I understand now that this was wrong, but it explains the context”— Dr. Time (@tcarmody) October 29, 2017
These lines sound all too familiar...
“I’m not saying it’s good or bad, but it was the Bobbitt age.”— Kate Harding (@KateHarding) October 29, 2017
"Deep down inside, those men knew they wanted to be stabbed."— SunNiteMovieMan (@SundayNiteMovie) October 29, 2017
After stabbings, no one blames the victim, obviously. It's common logic. Therefore why doesn't it apply to sexual assault which can be ultimately just as dangerous and dire.
It seems we're part of a stab culture:
I grew up watching men stabbed all the time. How was I to know that I couldn't stab a few here & there for a 'good time'? It's STAB CULTURE— UppityQueen Bravenak (@bravenak) October 30, 2017
Of course, the stabbings cause other issues...
if an infection is the result of a stabbing, look at it as a gift from god. Don’t punish an innocent infection for the crime of the stabbed— BloomingAwareness (@BloomUtopia) October 29, 2017
"If you didn't want to get stabbed, you shouldn't have been drinking!" Sounds pretty ridiculous right? We think so too.
some men get drunk and get stabbed then wake up with regret and go "oh my god! I was stabbed wahhh"— Suzanne Eh (@Sameypants) October 28, 2017
I hear sometimes they walk home alone and then act surprised when they get stabbed.— TishBee (@Tish_Bee) October 29, 2017
Can we not just tell them to drink more responsibly? I mean, they don't need to get *that* drunk.. Surely they have some level of blame in the situation?— Shrieking Shanti 🎃 (@ShantiPixie) October 29, 2017
Perhaps it's time we learned:
When a man says "Don't stab me" he means "Don't stab me"— Adrian Moine (@amoine) October 28, 2017
So next time we see another public apology, we'll be more prepared to see through the smoke and mirrors. At the end of the day it's about the victim, not the assailant. They shouldn't get to dictate the terms of re-acceptance.