23 Tweets That Sum Up Your Co-Workers

Updated 1 year ago

It’s easy having co-workers. You spend an insane amount of time with them and the only thing you have in common is that you were hired by the same company. Here are 23 tweets that sum up how we feel about these very strange relationships.

Sounds delicious

[break room]

coworker: what's for lunch?

me: [eating] food, generally

cw: no, I mean what are you having?

me: an unwanted conversation
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) March 4, 2016

Nicknames do help with camaraderie

Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner.
— Ceej (@ceejoyner) January 12, 2015

What could go wrong?

RAN INTO A COWORKER AT TARGET. DIDN'T WANT HER TO KNOW I WAS BUYING BABY CLOTHES FOR MY CAT SO I TOLD HER I'M PREGNANT
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) March 3, 2015

Honesty in the workplace is important

Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home?

Me: I don't even think about work at work.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 18, 2016

Probably a very long time

Just waiting to see how long until my coworkers realize that my robbery story is just the lyrics to Gloria Gaynor's "I will Survive".
— Woody (@WoodyLuvsCoffee) March 25, 2016

What a monster

The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) January 12, 2015

A solid plan

I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don't have to talk to them.
— Sweet Slips (@Ndeshi_M) May 14, 2015

Ruthless, indeed

A girl named Ruth quit working at our office. I've been referring to the office as "ruthless" since then. People are pissed.
— gerry hall (@gerryhallcomedy) June 30, 2015

Someone is going to have a meeting with HR

A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is I like to cuddle as I fall asleep.
— Just Bill ❄ (@WilliamAder) April 20, 2016

It's strange how this can be a bad thing

You ever look at one of your coworkers who's stressing out and think "You really give a fuck about this job,huh? Wow."
— Larry Beyince (@DragonflyJonez) December 16, 2014

There's got to be an easier way

Office fun: replace your coworker's mouse with a larger mouse so he thinks his hands are shrinking then call him "baby hands" until he quits
— vineyille (@vineyille) July 16, 2013

Is this mean or nice?

Brings donuts to work because if I can't be skinny neither can you.
— 💜 Miss Kerri 💜 (@kwirkyKerri) October 25, 2015

It's better for you anyway

[waiting for elevator]
Coworker: Hey, how's it go-
Me: I'll take the stairs.
— moody monday (@mdob11) December 26, 2014

Maybe not the best plan

Accidentally made eye contact w/co-worker thru bathroom stall door crack. Didn't know what to do so I blew him a kiss
— Mayor P (@punmagnate) August 19, 2013

Preach

We all have this colleague who, we hope, quits his job so everyone in the office is happy. If you don't know any such person, quit your job.
— pnkj (@AskThePankazzzz) May 15, 2014

Here's to hoping it lasts

Best thing about dating someone in office: No long phone convos as you meet each other daily.
Worst thing: You've to meet each other daily.
— A muse sing (@LoKarloFollow) January 13, 2013

Communication is key

How to be a grown up at work:

Replace "Fuck you" with "Ok, great"
— Pin Up Teacher (@pinupteacher) April 3, 2015

On behalf of everyone

[walks up to coworker's desk]
I know I don't say this often enough, but thank you for not showing me pictures of your kids.
— Sarcasticsapien (@Sarcasticsapien) January 19, 2015

We're not ignoring this

Please ignore this tweet, I'm pretending to be adding a coworker's phone number.
— Malbec 🇦🇷 (@MissMalbec) May 12, 2014

Who does this?

if u try to start a conversation with me while in the next door bathroom stall i will call the cops
— farah brook (@farahbrook) October 18, 2015

Be yourself

my co-worker got a new apartment & i told her about the guy who got decapitated in her neighborhood last week. office life isn't for me.
— SUE SMITH (@suesmith666) June 4, 2015

Classic Todd

I wonder how many consecutive Mondays Todd will respond "not long enough" in regards to how his weekend was. We're at 7.
— Mel Owens (@melowens) November 9, 2015

And, finally, the honest truth

STAGES OF WORKING FROM HOME
- Yay I get to work from home
- It would be nice to talk to people
- I hope that pigeon sits in the window today
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) July 14, 2015

Humor 22 Images That'll Give You Bad Luck Just By Looking At Them

I grew up in a marginally superstitious family who brought some beliefs and hocus-pocus superstitions from the old country. I couldn't make too much noise late at night for fear of attracting a "jinn." I couldn't point at cemeteries or stare into a mirror for too long or my face would become deformed, and heaven help me if I was ever mean to or disobeyed my parents or grandparents, because then I'd be looking at a cursed life that would ruin me until the day that I died.

But the idea of "back luck" or stepping on cracks, walking under ladders, or stealing a black cat's macchiato isn't something that my family really bought into. Sure, we believed in supernatural stuff and the idea that karma gets back around to mess with you or your kids, but "bad luck"?

No honey, it isn't luck that's ruining your life, it's an unseen species of metaphysical monsters that exist in a different plane we know little about—but they are mentioned in the Quran, so be careful!

There are phenomena so unfortunate that simply looking at images of them will cause the same bad luck to befall you. So on this Friday the 13th, gaze upon these pictures with extreme caution.

By Mustafa Gatollari

3 days ago