When I was in 8th grade, I decided to spend the whole academic year wearing shorts and a t-shirt to school, and I did it. I grew up in New York and we got plenty of snow that year, so it was a weird and completely pointless thing to do. It was fine, though. After a while the cold stops bothering me, partially because I got used to it, but mostly because of the nerve damage it caused.
I bring it up because we all made stupid fashion choices when we were younger. Some of us clashed colors, and some of us caused enough damage to our skin that we had to see a doctor about it who prescribed wearing pants. Two equally foolish paths.
But, hey, at least I wasn't that idiot who wore knee-high socks, although in retrospect that would have been a good idea.
We were young and foolish, OK?
There are plenty of instances where the United States Justice system screws up royally and totally innocent people end up getting shafted in ways that would give any depressing Oscar-contending film a run for its money. And in moments like that it's easy to shake your head and everyone involved in doling out justice in this country.
From the court system and its corrupt judges, to some cops who abuse children and are generally unfit as agents of "peace keeping," getting down on the way we're policing our citizens isn't difficult.
But make no mistake - there are tons of absolute morons who break the law every single day, and after hearing these stories from probation officers about some of the strangest and straight-up clueless offenders they've ever dealt with, you might start sympathizing with Johnny Law a bit more.
All right, maybe you won't go that far, but you know what I mean.
When I think of vending machines I think of frustration. Of late hours at some government building waiting to get some bureaucratic nonsense taken care of. Or stressful times at a hospital. Unhealthy snacks and feeling gross immediately after I cave into my desire for junk food.
But it doesn't have to be that way. There are plenty of awesome vending machines out there that go above and beyond the stale chips and crusty, white-dust-coated candy bar stereotype.
These are the vending machines of the future, and the future's looking pretty darn good.
Dads. They’re notorious for their senses of humor—whether cheesy or savage, witty or groan-worthy, they never miss an opportunity to try and make us laugh. In fact, dads are such natural comedians they often crack us up without even meaning to. It should come as no surprise then, that when dads learn to text, hilarity ensues.
Here are 21 dads who prove that, in their hands, smartphones are truly a blessing: