LogoLogo
Copyright ©2018 Distractify, Inc. All rights reserved.
Share on Facebook
Random Article
Image

25 Hilarious Signs You're Married To A Spy

25 Hilarious Signs You're Married To A Spy
User Avatar
Updated 7 months ago

Part of dating someone and ultimately marrying them is learning everything about them. Where they came from, where they work, what their dreams are. But what if all of that is a lie?

What if it was just an elaborate cover story to protect their true identity? What if they are secretly a foreign agent and everything you thought you knew turned out to be untrue? That would be bad.

I wish I had more insight than that, but I don't know what else to say besides, "That would be bad." If you are going through that I wish I had some advice for you, but all I can say is, good luck, buddy. And if you are just questioning if that's what you're going through, here's how you can know for sure. 

1. Now how am I supposed to remember?
2. Not very secretive.
3. The firm has a great gym membership.
4. Which passport?
5. Speak clearly to me.
6. Can only go to 999.
7. How did we miss this? We're both bad at our jobs.
8. I warned you not to use my stuff!
9. Sorry. Training kicked in.
10. Honey, who's Pussy Galore?
11. Those things never work as advertised.
12. Only three digits? Weird.
13. Subtle.
14. You're going to have to do better than that!
15. Learn how to order a drink properly!
16. Better not get me sea bass this year.
17. Follow my lead.
18. Always on the clock.
19. Ask me about my backstory.
20. Some questions are best left unanswered.
21. Nothing to see here.
22. Or does he...
23. My high school had a great language program.
24. Lots of bad drivers around here.
25. Force of habit.
Next Article
RecircHumor25 Vending Machines That Are Definitely From The Future

When I think of vending machines I think of frustration. Of late hours at some government building waiting to get some bureaucratic nonsense taken care of. Or stressful times at a hospital. Unhealthy snacks and feeling gross immediately after I cave into my desire for junk food.

But it doesn't have to be that way. There are plenty of awesome vending machines out there that go above and beyond the stale chips and crusty, white-dust-coated candy bar stereotype.

These are the vending machines of the future, and the future's looking pretty darn good.

By Mustafa Gatollari
8 hours ago
RecircHumor21 Texts From Dads That Will Make You Cry-Laugh

Dads. They’re notorious for their senses of humor—whether cheesy or savage, witty or groan-worthy, they never miss an opportunity to try and make us laugh. In fact, dads are such natural comedians they often crack us up without even meaning to. It should come as no surprise then, that when dads learn to text, hilarity ensues.

Here are 21 dads who prove that, in their hands, smartphones are truly a blessing:

By Cristina Manas
3 days ago