absurdheadlines corndog

17 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week February 21st 2018

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Nov. 18 2019, Updated 2:15 p.m. ET

The truth isn't always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

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1. I'd watch this movie:  Snake Bites Man, He Bites Back. How UP Farmer’s Revenge Quest Landed Him in Hospital

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2. I hope the clarification is something along the lines of, "LOL you believed me, idiot?!"

York Regional Police Issue Clarification After Officer Tells Students Spoking Pot Increases Men’s Breast Size

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3. Well, well, well.

 

MBTA Loses Tens of Thousands of Dollars in Sale of Surplus Money Trucks

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4. Deep down inside you had to know there was a reason for your persistent alcoholism.

 

Study Claims Alcohol More Important Than Exercise for Living Past 90

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5. Wait, they're arming these roosters now?!

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6. Ahh the old, "I'm too fat to be a rapist" strategy.

 Doctor Who Denied Sex Abuse by Saying His Belly Was Too Big Loses License

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7. KFC? No way. Now Popeye's is a different story...

 

Don’t Call Police Over KFC Crisis

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8. The day the margaritas died.

 

Jimmy Buffett’s Broadway Show ‘Escape to Margaritaville’ Reportedly Runs Out of Margaritas

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9. "He would've wanted this."

 

China Cracks Down on Funeral Strippers Hired to Entertain Mourners, Attract Larger Crowds

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10. "It's time to tackle the real evil in society!" 

Florida House Declares Porn a Public Health Risk Shortly After Denying Assault Rifle Ban

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11. Missouri...what are you doing? 

Child Marriage Is A-OK, Say 50 Missouri Lawmakers

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12. You know, he gets a bad rap for no reason.

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13. Imagine what he could do with a sloppy joe.

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14. Goodbye, you legend.

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15. An appropriate response.

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16. Millennials will stop at nothing when it comes to their diabolical plot to incorporate avocados into every aspect of life.

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17. These kids are awesome. End of discussion.

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