It's a hackneyed thing to say but it's still true: the only solicitor we ever want knocking on our doors trying to sell us something is a Girl Scout with some boxes of cookies. Everyone else gets the garden hose, and I mean everyone. But if you've got some cookies for sale, then you're my friend.
There have been tales of Girl Scout excellence all over the internet, like the industrious young girl who had the incredible idea to peddle her wares in front of a marijuana dispensary and managed to sell a whopping 3oo boxes of the stuff. Talk about understanding the needs of your customers, am I right?
Stoner demographic aside, what else is it about Girl Scout cookies that makes everyone love them so? A lot of it has to do with the fact that they're not only delicious, they're familiar. The flavors are iconic and there's a sense of tradition and nostalgia with each type of cookie.
So whenever a new Girl Scouts cookie flavor is introduced, it's a pretty big deal. Something that comedian Jeff Wysaski took full advantage of in this recent series of Obvious Plant gags where he came up with some new varieties of America's favorite biscuits and put them on store shelves.
To call them atrocious would be an understatement. You had nastiness like "Oops! All Raisins"...
...and, well, actually these don't seem so bad.
OK, these cookies just kinda make me feel bad.
When staying woke goes well with a cup of cold milk.
Everyone can agree that trefoils are probably the only Girl Scout Cookies that last in the cupboard.
Should go great with a hot bisque.
Oh good, I need an evil version of me to wait in the car while I double park and be used for general alibi purposes.
Aaaand this is where Wysaski lost his mind.
If you think he just photoshopped some clever box art and names, then you've underestimated his pranking skills, because as it turns out...
...he added some side box copy that's pretty hilarious and all too true, as well.
There they are, in all there shelf-planted glory.
This isn't Wysaski's first rodeo when it comes to pranking unsuspecting peeps.
Like the time he made this handy-dandy Starbucks coffee ordering guide for people unfamiliar with the terminology the chain uses.
I'll take my blonde espresso "Dope" every time thank you very much.