Joshua Short has waited his entire journalistic career to cover a Black Friday live on the air. Don't judge — we all have different goals. He finally got his chance this year, but the broadcast didn't exactly go as planned. Josh and his news station expected long lines and the usual chaos that accompany Black Friday, but it appears 2017 was the year that residents of Chicago and the surrounding suburbs got it together.
There was no Black Friday crowd for Josh to report on.
Josh, who obviously isn't a fan of "fake news," decided to give one seriously honest report. The show's anchor, Alex Wilcox, did his introduction and finally asked, "Josh, how are things going?"
Josh let him know exactly how things were going in this now-viral rant:
Well, you know what, Alex? I thought I was gon' be inside but apparently I'm stuck outside because [of] security reasons and all that other rigamarole. Look, if you look behind me you see the long lines of people out here at 5:45 or so... I... Look, we were expecting a big crowd, we don't have the big crowd we expected. I got up at 3 o'clock excited to do my first ever Black Friday and ain't nobody here! I am literally upset right now. I don't know why people did not wake up, they had too much food? I don't know what the deal is. You got cars coming through, but they're stuck right now in their cars. Nobody's coming out. Yeah, they open their doors at 6 o'clock but I'm really upset right now. We don't have anybody out here! We got another news crew that I'm not going to name, she's out here. So, at the moment, I'm going to send it back to you all because ain't nobody here. I'm going back home, I'm going back to my bed, and I'm going to sleep. Alex, we send it back to you.
Alex caught that proverbial pass expertly with a smile and a chuckle. He then commented to Josh that he may be on the wrong side of the mall and there may be people at another entrance.
Josh fired back:
You know what? I'll go to the other side of the mall and I'mma see another line of cars and nobody's going to be getting out of those cars because it's almost 30 degrees! You know what? I ... I... I'm just... ehhhhh.
Check out the sweet screen-blur from Josh making his emotional exit:
Alex awkwardly ended the segment by stammering "Uh, Josh is gone, we lost Josh." Always ready with a sense of humor, Joshua Short has embraced his moment of too-much-honesty and talked about it on social media.
He even posted the video with a bit of commentary:
And just like that, Josh won the hearts and minds of the world:
Dude, you kept it entertaining when otherwise it was a non-story. A+— Andrew Tobin (@tobin) November 25, 2017
If someone doesn't make one of those "Me after work on a Friday" memes using a clip of you walker my away, then the world will be shortchanged. This was good tv. 😂— Lala (@toastycarebear) November 25, 2017
Joshua was ready the throw hands. I was so ready for him to tell about how rude it was to send the black man into the cold like that for some fake news.— Serious Black (@NicT10) November 25, 2017
Dawg, the way his voice trailed off when he said, "...the long lines of people..." 💀💀😂😂😂— Ra's Al Cool (@chris_tha_ninja) November 25, 2017
It didn't take long before other reporters declared themselves #TeamJosh:
This is perfect. Thank you from another reporter doing the same thing this morning. 😂😂😂😂— Connor Kick (@ConnorKick) November 25, 2017
This is your Emmy right here... Hilarious 😂 I can relate and I bet a ton of other reporters can too— Arda Öcal (@ArdaOcalTV) November 25, 2017
This makes me so thankful that I work dayside 😂😂 bless you early morning MMJs though. Y'all are appreciated lol— Senora Harris (@SenoraWrites) November 25, 2017
Love this. I was in that position last year. I wasn't nearly as honest 🤣— Hadas Brown (@HadasBrownWESH) November 25, 2017
Someone should start a petition for Josh to report all the news from now on.
Growing up as a Muslim-Albanian family with very patriarchal ideas on the way a family is supposed to operate, my idea of what a father should be was a very "man's man" one.
He brings home the bacon, laughs maybe five times a year, and was really into Clint Eastwood and Martin Scorcese movies. Oh, and a Marlboro Red had to be perpetually hanging out the side of his mouth.
Fast forward years later and here I am, dadding it up, and I'm not that, like, at all. The manliest thing I probably do is hit the gym, bro, and not shave my chest hair. Other than that though, I'm nothing like the former generation of "guy's guys" that raised me. Which I'm totally cool with, because I'm already learning special hair braids to try out on my daughter once she gets older. Because her old man might be a North Jersey meathead, but he's going to be a meathead who doesn't mind having tea parties and getting his nails painted with his little girl.