Much of the talk in Washington D.C. has been of Fire and Fury, Michael Wolff's tell-all book from within the walls of the Trump White House. One of the book's most significant claims is that many of Trump's closest staff believe his mental acuity is slipping.
....Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star.....— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 6, 2018
....to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius....and a very stable genius at that!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 6, 2018
Clearly, these are the tweets of a very stable genius.
One tweet stood out. @hunttheshark knew exactly what Twitter needed — Gilbert and Sullivan references:
I am the very model of a Very Stable Genius.— bob (@huntthesnark) January 6, 2018
I have a mighty button and no problems with my penius.
I have no time for television, golf, or social media
Since my brain is way way better than the best encyclopedia.
Twitter users loved it:
I like you just because you know Pirates of Penzance. The fact that you clowned Orange Furor is just Gravy.— Elle Cee (@ellementality) January 6, 2018
In fact, they enjoyed the song so much, they couldn't help but join in for a second verse:
I like to tweet the lies of racist grievances historical— C. B. Wright (A Madman Unhing'd) (@ubersoft) January 6, 2018
When Russian ties are mentioned I deny them categorical
I do not feel the sting of words because I am avenious
I am the very model of a Very Stable Genius!
And the song wasn't over yet...
I am the very model of a man who is, like, very smart.....— carl mitchell (@Carl_Astro) January 6, 2018
Many people see my brain and say it's like a work of art.....
My daddy, he did nuclear; he truly knew things myriad.....
And when I type ellipsis I use far too many periods.....
Anyone down for... another verse?
I'm very well aquainted, too, with matters economical,— Kyle (@DrKyle) January 6, 2018
I understand the 1% must have tax that is nominal,
About two-state solutions I am teeming with a lot 'o nukes (a lot o' nukes)
And all the generals crap their pants and wonder if we need a coup.
I like to say I’m smart because it makes me feel superior— Todd Chappelle (@ToddChappelle) January 7, 2018
but all my words and phrases seem to come from my posterior
I swear I have no problems either physical or medical
I am the very model of a modern major genital
What's that? More?!
An amateur's addition:— GOPLogic (@GOPExplained) January 7, 2018
My toadies all look up to me, in worship they're obsequious
My MAGA hordes adore my mane and praise my bigly prescience
They care not that I slander, lie, defame or that I’m odious
A genius I’m not, I am a traitor quite felonious
I'm very well acquainted too with matters immigrational— Damian Feeney (@damianfeeney) January 6, 2018
My genitals are massive and my hairpiece is sensational
My tiny hands are frozen, I will warm them with a grabby feel
(grabby feel..grabby feel..Ah! I have it!)
And fill my greasy mouth with yet another Mackie's Happy Meal
Twitter seemed to have a lot of feelings they needed to get off their chest through song:
I have around me sycophants— Clayton Haapala (@chaapala) January 6, 2018
And a modern major general
On the pot, at night I tweet
With logic that's ephemeral
I get to skate on crimes that
Others normally find hein-ious
I am the very model of a Very Stable Genious
When I became the President it wasn't what I meant to do.— Robert Cragg #FBPE (@RobertCragg) January 6, 2018
I wanted to enjoy the fame and maybe make a mill or two.
I went to all the rallies which felt like a public pillory
And tried intimidating the appalling Crooked Hilary!
And it quickly became the song that could never end:
Here ya go @mezosaurus— Benjamin Schrader (@schrader99) January 7, 2018
My hands, they gesture swiftly to obscure my digits minuscule.
I’ll whine an edict, sign a law, and brag how I was smart in school.
Aesthetically, I fancy colors gilded and adorned in golds.
In bed I lay while dripping burger sauce into my belly folds.
Nice! Ok I'll bite: "Each evening I tune into my big screen televisions (three!) / I curse those louts on CNN and writers of the NYT / They cast aspersions on my name and those of all my relatives / I block them out with folders full of praise and facts alternative!"— Meredith (@mezosaurus) January 7, 2018
Tune in tomorrow for new verses inspired by whatever Trump does today.
I am large and I am orange and my hair is all original.— paul dennis (@trypewriter01) January 6, 2018
I have no time for anyone who is vaguely aboriginal.
My enemies are guilty, all, of crimes most dark and heinous.
I am the very model of a Very Stable Genuous.
I grew up in a marginally superstitious family who brought some beliefs and hocus-pocus superstitions from the old country. I couldn't make too much noise late at night for fear of attracting a "jinn." I couldn't point at cemeteries or stare into a mirror for too long or my face would become deformed, and heaven help me if I was ever mean to or disobeyed my parents or grandparents, because then I'd be looking at a cursed life that would ruin me until the day that I died.
But the idea of "back luck" or stepping on cracks, walking under ladders, or stealing a black cat's macchiato isn't something that my family really bought into. Sure, we believed in supernatural stuff and the idea that karma gets back around to mess with you or your kids, but "bad luck"?
No honey, it isn't luck that's ruining your life, it's an unseen species of metaphysical monsters that exist in a different plane we know little about—but they are mentioned in the Quran, so be careful!
There are phenomena so unfortunate that simply looking at images of them will cause the same bad luck to befall you. So on this Friday the 13th, gaze upon these pictures with extreme caution.