This post from Reddit's "Am I the A-hole?" will simultaneously make you so mad at this poor woman's clearly evil parents, but it will also make you so frustrated about the way our higher education system is organized. It makes it difficult for anyone who doesn't have supportive parents to get the education they deserve.
OP explains that she's a college student. When she tried to get a loan for school, she was told she could only get the minimum amount because her parents made too much money. "There's an assumption that your parents will help you out," she wrote. While this is true for some, it isn't for others. The system is prohibitive! But there's so much more to this story.
OP is a realist, and she was planning to take a "high-intensity course," so when she found out about the loan (or lack thereof), she told her parents she had two options. She could defer a year and save up money, then go to her first choice school a year late, or she could go to her second choice university now.
The reason she cited is that she wouldn't be able to afford to live in the city where her first choice university is located. Her parents came through and said they would pay her rent so she could attend her first choice school on time. All she'd have to do is get a part-time job to pay her remaining expenses.
So she took them up on their offer. It seemed generous and a way to attend her first choice school without having to wait an extra year. But then, on her birthday, her parents called her.
OP said they claimed she was "relying on them too much and needed to find out what the real world was like by earning [her] own money." They said they would pay that month's rent, and then she would be on her own.
She "begged them to reconsider," but they wouldn't budge. It was 11 days before the end of the month, and if she couldn't figure out a way to pay her rent, she would have no place to live. They also refused to send the school a letter to prove they had cut her off, which would have made her eligible for emergency housing.
She tried to get more hours at work, but that didn't pan out. She's now looking for a second job and sleeping on her friend's couch. If she can't prove to the school that her parents cut her off, she'll probably have to drop out.
Then, her parents had the nerve to tell her they were disappointed when she didn't call on her mom's birthday. This was when she told them she didn't want to be in contact with them anymore.
"I feel incredibly guilty and like a spoiled brat," she wrote, "because I don't love my family for their money, I love them because they're my family, but at the same time they've really screwed me over here." I think we all understand her position.
What they did out of the blue really makes it seem like they don't love her, so why do they deserve her love? The story gets even hairier from here.
She still didn't really know the reason her parents suddenly changed their tune about paying for her apartment, so she sent them a message asking "why they're fine leaving me homeless." They responded and told her it was because she appeared in a couple of photos on social media with her friend (the one whose couch she's staying on) who is an out and proud lesbian.
OP writes, "My brothers then showed our parents and told them I was a lesbian and she was my girlfriend. So now I have proof that they cut me off, proof they're homophobic, and confirmation that they can and will switch on me at the drop of a har, as well as proof of my brothers (who are older than me and living with our parents) being jealous s--theads."
Wow. It's not true, and if it was, that would maybe be worse. They had no problem screwing up their daughter's entire life because they thought that she was in a relationship with a woman. Says a lot.
She's now in the process of securing emergency housing, staying with her friend, and has no plans to speak to her family anytime soon. "I felt really s--tty cutting them off over finances, but now I know they're pure f--king evil, I don't feel so bad," she wrote. Hell yeah.
She sent her parents screenshots of her conversation with her brother confirming that he lied about her being a lesbian, and they're trying to apologize, but she won't let that change anything.
In fact, she's planning to switch her course of study to take classes on subjects she wants to study instead of what her parents expected her to study. She's kind of my hero.
And Reddit commenters had her back 100 percent. Even before they knew the reason for her parents cutting her off, they were on her side. "You were willing to delay your plans so you could get your finances in order and your parents told you not to worry about it, that they would pay — you relied on that and they suddenly cut you off with less than two weeks notice?" someone wrote. "It is incredibly hard to believe they could be — both of them yet — this cruel and destructive to their child."
"You've been abandoned and your response is normal," another person wrote.
"Cutting you off financially after they promised to fund you is bad enough," another wrote. "Cutting you off with 11 days notice in the middle of a semester is a total dick move. Cutting you off in the middle of a pandemic is the icing on the cake."
It's going to take a lot of apologizing and groveling if these parents want to have their daughter back in their life at any point. She has gotten a real picture of how horrible they can be, and that's not going to be easy to shake. And it shouldn't be.