Of all the ways in which our lives have changed due to the coronavirus pandemic, wearing masks in public is probably the most visible (and contentious). What should be a polite, easy thing to do has been the cause of countless public freak-outs and the constant politicization of a health crisis. But as masks (hopefully) become more and more accepted as a part of everyday life, the jokes abound! About wearing masks! About those who don't wear masks! No one is safe from the mask joke. These are some of our favorites.
Hey, this isn't a bad idea! The unmasked person might get mad at an adult for questioning why they're not wearing a mask, but they're unlikely to say anything to an innocent child! Man, I almost wish I had kids just so I could do this.
I am truly thinking that I'll be wearing a mask in busy public places for the rest of my life, and this right here, the idea that you don't have to reveal yourself when you make shameful purchases at the grocery store, is just an added benefit! Show me the bad thing about this. There is none!
Another fantastic argument for the use of masks in public. No one will be able to tell how many chins you have or how many hairs you forgot to pluck out of your chin before you went outside. What an incredible gift!
You may be thinking that these are two different things, but they're really not! In fact, there was a huge amount of resistance to the use of seatbelts when they were first made standard. But soon, we realized that they made us safer, and no one complains anymore. Let's hope the same thing happens with face masks.
Think of a face mask like another accessory for your face. They make really cute ones with flowers or sequins or fun prints! Go crazy! Match them with your outfits! Just make sure they're over your nose and mouth. That's all we ask.
There are multitudinous excuses that people use to not wear masks, and Kylie parodies them masterfully. If you won't wear a mask, yes, you sound this silly. Just do it.
Newsflash! The mask has to go over your nose and mouth to work. If you're leaving one or the other uncovered, or if it's around your chin, the whole mask has been rendered pointless, just like Plankton's glasses. Wear masks properly!
See?! Even if it can take a little while to get used to, sooner or later you'll love the privacy of your mask. It makes it so much easier to mutter things to yourself under your breath about people who aren't wearing masks, for example.
I legitimately might not finish writing this list because I cannot stop looking at this dog wearing a face mask. Although dogs and cats and other house pets have not been known to get sick with COVID-19 or even transmit it to humans, if your dog will wear a mask, you should make her one because just look at how cute!
Some people are starting to sell masks with either your face or the face of celebrities on them, and I just think that as a nation, we should all come together to steer clear of that trend. It never ever ever ever ever ever works. Then again, if that's the only mask you have, you wear Kerry Washington's giant mouth on yours for the whole day if you have to!
Have you done this yet? It's not pretty. But it's a price we all have to pay. Listen, burping and sneezing into your own face mask are just other ways in which we are getting to know ourselves even better than we already did during this pandemic.
Most of the people who are complaining about the (very minor) inconvenience of wearing a mask are white, and boy do they get dramatic about it. It's time for them to get it together and stop whining.
Twitter is ready to give us an edit button on the condition that everyone wear a mask...which means we'll never get an edit button (something I'm actually OK with). But the point stands. WEAR. A. MASK. Period.