Dating is rough. Watch a sitcom if you don't believe me. There are a lot of weirdos out there, and all of them are looking for love. So us "normal" people are constantly on the lookout.
So, what are the signs that you are on a date with a weirdo? Here's a simple test. Ask yourself if they are weird and unpleasant to be around. If the answer is yes, then do not go out with that person again.
It may come across as obvious, but it sure wasn't to these folks.
What a lame way to end this date.
She goes on a lot of dates.
Oh. Okay. So he was a liar.
Well, at least you made some friends.
Okay. I have never shared this story online before, but here goes.
I was going to have a second date with this girl. She knew of three parties happening on the same night, so she suggested that we hit all three. Sounded good to me, so off we go.
At party one, her best friend from college is there that she hasn't seen in four years. They immediately run off together, and I'm left with the friend's boyfriend having a drink. I think to myself, this is no big deal. She hasn't seen her friend in a long time, and the night has a lot more to go. She comes back after a while and suggests we head on to the other party. Great!
Arrive at second party. My date immediately runs off with some other friends. Like, "Tim, oh my god, how are you doing," and dashes across the party to find him. I slowly follow behind, but then they keep scurrying on to talk to other people without the girl making it clear that she wanted me to come. I feel really awkward because she doesn't introduce me or say anything about me. I'm just an awkward guy there that no one knows. I get tired of that and go to the bathroom, where I find that the door has been ripped off its hinges. I find a screwdriver and fix the door before using the bathroom. Fast forward 30 minutes, my date finds me and suggests we go to the final party. But this time, her friend Tim is going to join us. Okay...
Arrive at third party. As soon as we walk in the door, Tim says he needs cigarettes, and the girl and Tim run out for cigarettes and leave me at this new party with all these other people I don't know. They are gone for 45 minutes, by which time I decide that this date isn't working out and I should just go home. When my date comes back with cigarettes, I tell her I'm leaving and she FLIPS OUT. She starts screaming at me in front of everyone about how she was going to have sex with me later and how I ruined everything. Then she proceeds to scream, "you're not leaving me; I'm leaving you," after which she bolts out and slams the door.
Then everyone at this other party, whom I don't know, is staring at me while my date, who brought me there, has abandoned me.
Someone eventually comes and offers me a drink. I stay for another hour and laugh it off with the people at the party. Am still friends with some of those fine people today.
Is there a market for that? Probably.
This is why you don't ask friends to set you up.
This really could have gone one of two ways.
This was not a good plan.
Can you confirm?
Nothing more than a pawn.
Sounds like a keeper.
I met a guy from OKCupid. The first time we met up in a public place and just had a casual chat. It wasn't a horrible date, but it wasn't very memorable either. I decided to give him another try because it could have just been nerves. The 2nd date he invited me over to his place... I knew he lived with his parents, but i kind of assumed they'd be away.
They weren't away. They kept coming into the loungeroom and giving us iced tea and chips whilst he played XBox in his trackpants (no shirt) and i sat there awkwardly watching. He didn't really speak much to me. It was 11pm, and he was in his 30s.
Your sacrifice will not be forgotten, sweater.
At least she was fun?
Met girl on Match. She showed up 20 minutes late. I had to "excuse myself" so I could hide out in the bathroom and write down as much of the batshit crazy things this woman was saying before I forgot.
Topics included, but were not limited to: Daddy issues, her mother loves her brother more, miscarriage, being married before, when "we" start dating, when "we" are married, setting me up with her assistant, how she'll "fuck me with blood on my face", things she does when she's high, Brazilian trance music, adopting children, what's my dog's name again, how she doesn't trust animated movies, why she was 20 minutes late, owning a business, when it's acceptable to use the c-word, being a vegetarian, her blind cat, her dying uncle, abusive relationships, the city of Tampa, free range urination, and can we order tater tots.
We didn't go out again.
So bad he made you swear off dating.
I hope she just finds a pig that'll make her happy.
It was meant to be.
Once i talked to a girl on tinder that i hit it off with pretty well, and we made plans to meet up later in the weekend. We'll call her Sarah.
The next day though, another girl that i'd talked to, that we'll call Sophie, told me she'd be out at a bar close to me. She told me to come join her, and bring a friend. So i brought my roomie, and went to meet Sophie.
As we got to the bar, i spotted Sophie sitting there with another girl, whose back was turned to me. Went up, gave Sophie a quick hug as i sat down next to me, and motioned for my buddy to sit on the other side with the other girl.
It was only then i actually looked at Sophie's friend. First noticing the intense stare i recieved from over the table, i realized the girl was Sarah, the girl i had made plans to meet up with the following day.
I could see she was equally taken aback as me, and for what felt like an eternity we sat there with the biggest deer-in-the-headlights-look before the silence was broken by Sophie, saying "Hey Sebws, this is my bestie, her name's Sarah!" Which led to us nervously shaking hands, exchanging names, not knowing what else to do.
Already having shook hands as strangers, neither of us really knew how to proceed, not wanting to mention the elephant in the room, since Sophie and my buddy had no clue what was going on.
It actually did go allright in the end, my roomie and Sarah ended up talking, and hitting it off. It seemed we'd reached a silent, yet mutual agreement not to mention the glowing mammoth in the room.
In the end, the girls actually ended up going back to our flat with us, spending the night.
I only told my roomie the reason i had looked so confused, after they had left the following day. But yeah, that was such a strange date, which somehow worked out.
To be fair, DKC really holds up.
That one is easy. Met this girl online, and the way the conversations went it was always friendly, getting to know you type banter. After a few online conversations, we meet up at a bar by her. The plans for the evening were to have drinks there then go play Donkey Kong Country at her place. Being the oblivious male I am, I genuinely was excited to play some DKC on Super Nintendo.
We meet up at the bar and things go fine. I wasn't really attracted to her at all, but she was nice and we had an alright time at the bar. So we get back to her place and start watching TV. I look around and don't see a Super Nintendo. Thought maybe it was in her bedroom. I don't mention it because I don't want to be rude. She makes some drinks. We're watching Drunk History, when all of a sudden she looks at me with murder in her eyes "Are we going to stop playing games?!"
I look at her, smiling, trying to play it off, "Do you mean Donkey Kong Country?" She really didn't appreciate that. She scoffs and then proceeds to chide me about how guys are always wanting to play games and want sex. I told her the only game I was wanting to play was DKC. This is when it got weird. She gets up off the couch, calmly, walks to the kitchen and pulls a butcher knife out of somewhere. She just stands in the kitchen, still with the look of murder in her eyes, and stares me down. She doesn't move at all, just staring with the butcher knife at her side. I look back for what feels like a few minutes, and then I jump up and dash for the front door.
I didn't even bother closing the door, behind me I hear the door slam hard, and she's shouting at the top of her lungs, "FUCKING ASSHOLE, PLAYING GAMES, FUCK YOU".
So a night of what I was hoping to be relaxing, friendly conversation, and Donkey Kong Country, turned into my "maybe I could have been murdered" dating story.
TL;DR - Met friendly girl online for drinks and hopefully Donkey Kong Country on SNES. Felt like I was going to be murdered by the end of it.
What did you do?
I was on a train coming home from work and saw this GORGEOUS girl. Couldn't keep my eye off her. Then I realized I used to go to church with her like 15 years before! We weren't friends... it was early puberty for me so I was still in the picking on girls and being mean to them phase, but oh well, that's in the past! I went up, asked her how she's been what's she's been up to. Ah reconnecting! I asked her where she worked, and she told me, turned out we were about a block apart in the city, so I asked her if she wanted to grab lunch one day.
The next day, I text her, we grab lunch, and it's going splendid, but something is off..... She is asking very general , 'first date' questions. Now, while I'm more then happy to answer, it was bothering me.... then it hit me. She didn't remember me
I must have been so friendly, confident, or something when I approached her on the train that she agreed to the date. And now here I am, thinking I'm reconnecting with someone, and she didn't remember me!....
Well the date went great anyway, she had off the next day so we decided to meet up the day after.... Fast forward to the next night and I get a text from her.
"I just remembered who you are. Don't text me again. Don't come near me on the train."
Apparently 12 year old me was an asshole.
This is not sexy!
How to be very rich and very low class...
Never know what you are going to find.
Well, this one time I took my date to dinner at (what seemed to be) a front for some type of illicit activity.
We had just moved to a new area, and we wanted to check out the local shops and restaurants. While we were wandering, we stumbled into a tiny Italian place. Back home, the small hole-in-the-wall restaurants always have the best food, so we were excited to give it a shot. Big curtains were covering the entry windows, so we had no idea what was inside until we trudged through the door.
Inside, we were met with emptiness and silence. We both immediately thought the store was closed, and I spun around and searched for the store hours posted somewhere on the door. While I was looking, we heard a heavy THUD as a young woman barked "I'll be right with you!"
She appeared, greeted us confusingly, and asked us 'what she could do for us'. Which, looking back, is probably a red flag. But we were naive and hungry, so we said we were there for dinner. She looked puzzled, but motioned us to follow her to a booth right by the entrance.
She then disappeared into the back, and we heard a muffled conversation between our hostess and a man. The consensus was basically they were not prepared for us, or didn't know how to proceed. I asked my date if she wanted to split, but she insisted we stay for the story.
The square shaped balding man burst through the kitchen door with two glasses of water for us, and in a very loud and deep voice he explained that it was his birthday, and we would eat what he felt like making us. We whole-heartedly agreed.
We waited around thirty minutes, and he again returned with three large bowls of spaghetti and meat sauce. He placed two bowls in front of us, and one next to me for himself. He sat with us and ate. We had light and awkward conversation with him during, and he kept asking us jokingly if we were cops or with the health board. He was incredibly nervous about us, so my date kept cracking corny puns or awful jokes because he would foricbly laugh at anything designed with humor. We talked about our lives, the cities we've lived in, our pets (he had a teacup Chihuahua named Princess) and his wife.
He decided we were good people, and didn't change us for the meal. We wished him a happy birthday, he hugged us, and we went on our way. Easily the best spaghetti I've ever had in my life. The restaurant, unfortunately, no longer exists.
You are the worst serial killer?
She could have put together a wedding for free!
Not high school sweethearts.
Got set up on a date with this pretty awkward guy, he picked me up in his car which was sort of cool considering we were in high school but oh my god he was a nervous driver. So nervous in fact that he accidentally ran a red light, lost his shit and ducked into a residential area to sit at the end of a cul-de-sac freaking out thinking the cops were coming. I tried to explain that if a cop had seen him we'd have already been pulled over but dude was too freaked out. I don't even remember anything else about the date, just that. It was uneventful and I never really talked to him again because we had nothing in common.
I hate how we share the same interests.
This has a great punchline.
I went on a date with a boy when I was about 16.
Anyway, he was older, of course. I lied about my age and even though I literally looked 11, he still believed me (super dumb if me, right?) he was in his 20s. "Let's get a drink, yeah?"
me being weird to tell the truth, I agreed.
Flash forward and we're outside of the bar, it's our time to go inside and the bouncer checking ID asks me about mine. "Uh, oh sorry, I most of left it at home." I defensively exclaimed. He knew I was bullshitting. I did too. My date looks at me weird and he starts interrogating me, I literally cracked with embarrassment. I started sobbing and at that point, I tried to run inside the bar like I actually had a chance. I even threw a tantrum causing a HUGE scene. Way to show my true age. He holds me back and he found out I lied. He looks at me with a blank expression and I honestly was crushed. It was nothing but silence until he was like, "let's go somewhere age appropriate then." "Age appropriate?" I was shocked, he wasn't even mad at me. I didn't know what to do with myself, I just sat in the back of the car, mentally beaten.
We drive for a while and thoughts of being kidnapped cross my mind. Then eventually,
we pull up to a Chuck E. Cheese
and he leaves me there.
More from Distractify
More From Distractify
Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships