Flirting is a tricky balancing act. If you are too forward, you will scare the person off. If you are too subtle, they won't know what you are doing.
Of course, there are times when you can be too forward and the other person still won't know what you are doing. You can text someone, "I want to jump your bones" and get a response that just says, "LOL. Skeletons on trampolines."
Here's some advice. If you someone texts, "LOL. Skeletons on trampolines," you need to find someone else. The same goes if you seeing someone who does any of the following.
What else do you expect on Halloween?
Halloween morning 2014, he knocked on my door to drive me to work. We had been friends for a month and he wouldn't make a move, so I answered the door in a T-shirt and cat ears and absolutely nothing else; that bastard walked right past me and looked for coffee in the kitchen.
We've been married 10 months now 🙂
He claims he totally knew my intentions but knew being a gentleman would get him farther, I say he's full of it.
Why have a girlfriend when you can have Google?
One time I was texting my bf and told him that I bought a vibrator for the nights he was away at work or something rather. his exact response was, "oh cool, what colour?" I sent him a pic of it and he replied with "can you put it up your butt too?". I sent him a text replying, "come over and find out" and he replied two minutes later, "nevermind, I just Googled it"
Patience and lack of subtly pays off, sometimes?
When me and my fiance were in high school we were "best friends", which of course meant I was too big of a chicken to tell him how I really felt. Well, my move was to always take the seat in front of him and purposely have my thong showing while we had lectures. This went on for all the classes we had together, and we had a lot. I finally had to confess how I felt to him before he left our home town for college after three years of this game. It turns out he was a chicken too. He said those four years were the biggest tease imaginable, it's hilarious to talk about now.
He couldn't read anyone
Only one of you killed the mood...
Best compliment a guy could hear.
Everyone kept their clothes on.
Oh, high school.
I was laying down on a bench with my head in his lap talking about our previous /experiences/ (this was high school) and he told me he had never had a bj before. I told him, with my head in his crotch, that I could blow his mind. Nothing. Crickets.
Here's looking at you, kid.
Oh! Is that what we're doing?
That's one way to fix a mistake.
I was at a party drinking with a guy I had a bit of a crush on. We were joking around and I told him to touch my boob, because he jokingly accused me of padding my bra (since they're quite large).
He DID touch them for a second, but then he just kept going on with the conversation. I figured he wasn't interested and I got over it.
I think he realized his mistake cause he always made it a point to like everything I post on facebook.
At least your bros had a good time?
In his defense, it is a good show.
Don't distract him from the movie!
I was the guy.
Her: Let's hang out after school, nobody is going to be at my house
Me: Ok cool
Drive her home and hang out with her.
Her: Hey I have a finished attic I like to hang out in and watch movies
Me: Ok cool
Go in the attic where a couch, sheets on the floor, and a TV on a stand are chilling. Turn on some random movie and she proceeds to cuddle on me.
Her: So what do you want to do?
Me: Idk random chatter about movie
Her: My last boyfriend couldn't last more than 2 minutes with me. No guy has actually.
Me: Oh I could do better than that
Her: Oh yeah? ;)
Me: random chatter about movie
This is not a fire drill folks, this actually happened. She ghosted me pretty hard after that and I didn't really understand why until fucking years later when I critically thought about that situation.
Loneliness and horniness are nearly the same thing, right?
It's for the environment, you dummy!
Think of all that wasted time...
What? This is how all friendly people act.
Not as appealing as a pool...
Was it a futon?
Have faith. It look Leslie and Ben a while to date, too.
Who else is here?
More from Distractify