Let's face it: We've all dated some kind of loser. Fine, maybe not those of us who met our life partners in middle school, or those who've had arranged marriages, or those who are just full of self-worth and dignity and would never swipe right unless the person in question was straight out of some Top 10 magazine.
But for the rest of us earthlings who've cruised the dating circuit at different levels of casualness, it can be easy to become blinded by our loneliness and their good looks, and therefore end up canoodling with some version of a total utter loser you wish you could erase from your personal history log.
However — and bear with me here — as horrible as these individuals are to us (here's looking at the live-in ex who threw my dog and me out to the curb in the dead of winter after falling for someone else overnight), it's often much more painful to experience these losers from the outside. Like, I'm pretty sure every time my sister told me something awful her ex-boyfriend said to her, it hurt me more than it even hurt her. And that's because we're protective of the people we love, and we don't want to see them suffer with objective losers.
People on reddit banded together to share their stories of the biggest losers their family members dated, and the results are both cringe-worthy and heartbreaking. Below, 18 of the most horrible people in the world you're going to want to crucially avoid like the plague.
And if you think you could afford to become a better partner to your S/O, scroll through the list to at least make sure you're nothing like these guys.
1. The guy who lies about being a Navy Seal.
"My sister dated a guy who lied about being a Navy Seal. Apparently there is like a whole community of people who do that, just go around unemployed living on ??? Telling their SOs when they disappear for weeks at a time that they were 'deployed.' It never made any sense to us, and she broke up with him for other reasons and gets really pissed off if anyone mentions the relationship happened.
He was a creepy dude who took advantage of her trusting nature and that she was at a low point in her life, and I regret not doing more to call him out on his obvious bulls--t. He's still in the area doing god knows what, probably trotting out the same crap to new women. I hope one day he gets his a-- beat by a real Navy Seal!"
2. The guy who invites his mistress to live with him and his wife.
"My husband's cousin was married to a man who cheated on her for months, and then moved his mistress into THEIR home and tried to convince his wife that they could all be lovers together.
He also got into the illegal pot dealing game after Colorado legalized weed."
3. The "hippie" whose carpet walked all over him.
"My sister is currently dating a dude that's a huge 'hippie,' just like her.
Really into the stars, soul mates, drugs.... and other s--t.
Of all the issues I have with him, he had told us that he was on an acid trip once and that his carpet spoke to him and told him he's not allowed to hold down a job for more than a week because it un-aligns your chakra points and throws off your energy. It also feeds your energy into the big 'alman matter' aka the government and with every hour worked you're making them stronger.
To make money he does what you would expect him to do (sells drugs, sells his food stamps, asks my sister for money... etc)."
4. The guy who doesn't know the difference between the sun and the moon.
"My really quite intelligent daughter once dated a lad who didn't know the difference between the sun and the moon. Not joking.
To clarify slightly, my daughter was 18 and the lad was 20.
He thought the moon glowed because it was the same as the sun, i.e. a ball of nuclear fire. Although I imagine he knew it wasn't as hot. He had no idea at all that the moon was reflecting light.
He came from a family of people who saw very little point in education. His mother had never worked, none of his family worked, he didn't work.
He was actually a nice lad, but difficult to converse with due to his very low level of education."
5. The really possessive chick.
"My brother dated this crazy possessive chick who once buried one of his shirts because another girl complemented him on it in front of her. She also totaled his car after lying and saying she had gotten her license back. She gave $400 to a fake iPhone scammer website Western Union because, "they are a legit company, I saw pictures of their warehouse and everything." I Googled warehouse, the picture on their site was the first one that came up. She even paid $100 more to "expedite through customs" when the delivery didn't arrive when expected. And the pièce de résistance she killed his dog, she left Excedrin PM on the coffee table and he chewed up the bottle. By some miracle no pills got out and crisis averted, it was explained to her that the pills would be fatal to the dog. She bought another bottle and left it on the coffee table again this time dog ate half the bottle and his kidneys failed, sucks because he was the sweetest/ smartest dog I've ever known.
TLDR: Bro dated a girl that killed his car and dog."
6. The dude who had so many red flags, his ex-wife even reached out.
"My wife and I have very limited contact with our daughter because of the guy she was dating and now ended up marrying. Our ability to intercede was limited because she had moved to the other side of the country, ultimately ending up in Alabama. It’s painful and incredibly unfortunate, but we are just holding out hope that someday things turn around and she opens her eyes.
Our daughter was staying with a friend, and she began dating this guy she met while working. She always struggled with showing or expressing gratitude, and she had a falling out with her friend of 10 years, who felt like she was being taken advantage of. Our daughter wouldn’t pay rent and did nothing to help out around the house (friend had a new marriage and a new baby also) and so our daughter was asked to leave. She lived with her manager, until they also had a falling out, resulting in her quitting her job also.
This caused her to move in with her BF, who we’ll call Tim. Tim lived in a trailer on the same plot of land his parents and grandparents lived on, and was likely a drug dealer. He had been in the Army for a few years before getting dishonorably discharged for drug use. Given that my wife and I are both Army veterans, his 'I’m a proud Veteran' attitude was additional reason to dislike him. He had no real job, which would be a trend.
They ultimately got engaged once our daughter became pregnant. We were then contacted by a woman who wanted to warn us about Tim. Turns out, she was his wife. They had been married years earlier, had a kid together, and Tim was refusing the sign the divorce papers. She informed us that he was emotionally and physically abusive, and that he had been convicted of it (we checked and this was true). He was also currently on trial for rape (was also true). She also claimed he was currently sleeping with his 15-year-old cousin who lived in one of the trailers on the family lot (no evidence other than circumstantial 'he’s a PoS' evidence).
My wife immediately called our daughter to tell her this and to try and let her let us buy her a plane ticket back to our house so she could get back on her feet. Turns out, our daughter knew about all of it and refused to believe any of it was true. He wasn’t dishonorably discharged she said (we sent the picture of the DD214 his wife had), he wasn’t an abuser (we sent the court case and local news article), he was on trial, but there was no way he had raped anyone (case was ultimately dismissed last year when the witness decided they didn’t want to testify). She said she’d come for a visit, but only if she was allowed to bring Tim. We showed her texts from Tim to his wife saying he was only with our daughter for the money (she had been begging money off relatives, though we had stopped giving at that time, and all have stopped now after we talked to them). We also showed her his Tinder and Facebook profiles where he was attempting to pick up other woman. Nothing made a difference.
She had the baby a few months later. We were going to go out for the birth, but we told our daughter we wouldn’t go onto their family trailer park. Tim knew what we thought of him now and apparently made threats toward us. We told her we’d come out and stay in a hotel, and we could visit her there. She refused and said Tim wouldn’t let her do that. If we wanted to see our grandchild, it would have to be at their trailer. We decided not to go out for the birth, which tore my wife apart. Our other daughter has not spoken to her sister since that day.
Everything seemingly came to a head when our daughter called us out of the blue one afternoon. Apparently Tim had gotten angry and she was scared for her safety. We immediately booked a flight for her and our daughter arranged for a neighbor to take her and the new baby to the airport. We then could not get ahold of her for several hours, so my wife called the local police to do a health and welfare inspection. The officer had our daughter call us from his phone. Apparently, he had found out what was happening and smashed her phones and would not let her leave. The neighbor now refused to be involved, so a former soldier of my wife’s offered to drive out and pick her up, as he happened to be a police officer about two hours away. The other officer waited for him to arrive. Once our friend arrived, our daughter had changed her mind and refused to leave. Nothing we could do changed her mind, and she is still there.
Tim still doesn’t have a job, though they are now married and she just gave birth to another grandchild. Tim insisted that she go back to work the week after, since he cannot get a job due to his record. Our daughter sends us pictures, but she is always sure that they include Tim. The last picture we received was him holding the new baby and making something in the kitchen... while smoking."
7. The manipulative and controlling bride-to-be.
"My brother is currently dating and engaged to one of the worst people I've ever met. She is manipulative and controlling. She likes to do s---ty, mean things, and when confronted will act completely innocent and play the victim, and she has on several occasions made up stories and lied for the sole purpose of causing chaos. She almost destroyed my other brother's marriage (his wife is her best friend) and has all but ruined my brother's relationship with our mom and other sister. I really think she is entertained by the misery she causes. The best part of all of it? They are getting married in 11 days."
8. This dude from the internet.
"When my niece was 14 she met a dude on the internet who was 22 and from across the country. We were not happy. He came to visit and he was the weirdest dude I ever met. I was only four years older and tried to have conversations with him but he was just monosyllabic. Exactly the kind of dude who you would expect to hit on 14 year olds in anime forums on the internet. Of course we watched them like a hawk and they were never left alone together.
I still admire my sister. She firmly put down the rules (no being alone together, no sleeping in the same room etc.) but never said anything against the 'relationship.' The whole thing ended pretty much right after his visit. If my sister [hadn't] forbidden it I am sure it would have gone on much longer."
9. The dude with terrible tattoo taste.
"My sister is married to a guy who has two swastikas tattooed on his back... 'nuff said.
He got them while in prison when he joined the Aryan brotherhood. He definitely isn’t Buddhist."
10. The dude who enables his girlfriend's depression.
"My sister is dating a guy who is an a--hole to everyone he meets, but cries when you give it right back to him. He is also an enabler to her depression and anxiety. Instead of trying to encourage her to fix herself, he tells her that she doesn't need to and he will do it for her."
11. The chick who faked all of her injuries.
"My older brother dated a girl who pretended that she broke all of her bones in a car wreck. She put both of her arms in slings, put braces on her legs, and a travel pillow around her neck. I remember asking her about her back (if all of her bones were broken anyway) and she started to cry. LOL they didn’t last long."
12. The dude who extorts her family.
"My sister dated a guy, lets call him Tom, who worked under my dad at the business he owns and runs. Now I'm not saying Tom was a loser because worked for our family, my sister and I both work in similar positions and thats how they met. But there were a number of instances that just shouted 'Hey whats up I'm Tom and I'm a loser.' For example, Tom seemed to never have any money, usually blaming things like his rent being to high or his car needing to be worked on. Due to this my sister ended up having to pay for the majority of the dates and dinners that they went on.
In reality, he had spent most of his money on unnecessary toys like dirt bikes, guns, and modifications for his 1999 Honda Civic. His spending habits got so bad that his landlord threatened him with eviction, this tore my sister up, not because he was getting evicted but because she knew that he was making enough money to never be in that type of situation.
Anyway, Tom got the bright idea to ask her and my father for the rent money ($650) while they were out to dinner. My dad ended up helping him out so he wouldn't go homeless, but what he didn't know was that Tom had asked him for more money than what his rent was so he could go out and spend it on other things other than my sister. So yeah he was a loser and I didn't like him much."
13. The dude who wants his girlfriend to drop out of school.
"My little sister dated a guy who kept trying to convince her to drop out of a UC school and move into his mom's garage with him, up to and including threatening suicide if she didn't.
It took way too much effort on my dad and my part to get her to put the kibosh on that relationship, mostly because the guy's mom thought my sister was good for him and tried to fight us on it."
14. The dude who stole her money.
"My sister dated them all! My favorite was a guy who convinced her to have joint bank accounts and stole six months worth of pay from her. We didn't know until after the relationship. The dude was a major conman salesman type that had like four different get rich quick schemes while they dated."
15. The guy without ambitions.
"As nice as my brother-in-law is, he is pretty terrible in terms of job/goals/life ambitions.
He hasn't worked a steady job for almost 10 years or so and is now pushing like 40. He had been a UPS driver and either lost that job or was laid off or something and since then, he has just done oddball things to kind of keep money in, but nothing has flourished or lasted long. He was going to be a singing coach. He was going to do lawn maintenance. And currently his next big venture is dog walk/sitting.
Consequently, my sister works three jobs to keep their family comfortable and to support my niece. It wouldn't be so terrible, if he did more stuff around the house, but after this past visit to their home, I don't think he does much of anything other than sit around and watch TV and maybe make dinner every once in awhile.
My dad has tried subtly talking to her about the situation, but she says she's happy with her life. But sometimes her tone says something else."
16. The guy who isolates and controls his wife.
"My sister is currently married to a controlling a--hole. He leaves jobs and accepts others out of state without consulting her, forcing her to leave medical practices on short notice. She is now working for the Feds and he has just done it again. She has been trying to get a transfer but he's telling her to quit now. Her career is in shambles because of her poor job history of leaving places on short notice. Plus she's gained about 200lbs and this guys legs are purple and about to fall off because he doesn't believe in diets. She wants kids and he has one already and is refusing to have another (Thank goodness) but she is depressed and unhappy.
She refuses to leave him, citing her age as an excuse. He has insulted my family in front of me and has tried to bully my husband and I. When that didn't work, after I yelled at him, he told her she wasn't allowed to talk to us anymore. He has cussed out my mother over the phone, and ridiculed every last one of my family members. I don't currently speak to her, because I cannot stand to hear all of the s---ty things he does. My mother has very little contact with her as well, I'm not 100% on the exact reason but I suspect its not far from mine. I have told her she is welcomed to stay with my husband and I if she ever wants to leave him. No matter what time day or night I will book the plane ticket and replace anything that she cannot bring with her.
TL;DR: Sisters husband is abusive by way of isolation and controlling money. She knows her escape plan, just waiting for the call."
17. The guy who's a total narcissist.
"My sister was in an emotionally abusive (on the verge of physically abusive) relationship with a narcissist. She got pregnant by him and upon the birth of their daughter they found out she had severe medical complications. I won't go into too much detail, but they had to choose to let her pass or put her through multiple surgeries and treatments that she possibly wouldn't survive or make it out of the hospital from. This nut-job had her so brainwashed that he convinced her to let their daughter pass away without trying to save her because he didn't want to deal with it. He even slept on the couch in the hospital room while my sister stayed up all night holding her as she passed away.
My niece passed away less than two weeks after she was born. Within a week of her passing, he tells my sister she is fat and needs to lose weight (among other terrible things) and goes out using the fact that his daughter just died to draw pity from someone in order to get laid. I'm thoroughly convinced that this POS never gave a s--t about his daughter or my sister. Thankfully she found the strength to leave him, but still has extreme guilt over the entire situation."
18. This complete tool — where to even begin...
"My daughter dated a guy who was a s---ty, lying, lazy, abusive, gas-lighting a--hole. Besides that, he 1) dropped out of high school at 14; 2) never attempted to get a GED/diploma equivalency; 3) had more than one conviction for public intoxication/underage drinking/drunk driving, which left him 4) "unable" to get a job for approximately 18 months of the about 2 years they were together; 5) got fired from Walmart after only working two weeks, for missing work because his kid supposedly was victim of an abduction attempt (turns out the kid made it up); 6) smoked weed in her apartment bathroom, knowing that if my daughter failed a drug screen her career would be ruined; 7) had his two kids every other weekend, but spent the entire time with headphones on, gaming, meaning my daughter had to watch his kids or they'd destroy her apartment; 8) would only eat corn or potatoes, hamburgers or chicken fingers, or pizza, but fast food was A-ok; 9) never picked up after himself, so every horizontal surface was covered in half-drunk pop cans, fast food wrappers, cups and bags, dirty plates, moldy food (daughter is an RN and worked 12-hour shifts, which is sort of an excuse); 10) punched a hole in her apartment wall; 11) held a gun to his own head, then laughed at her for taking him seriously; 12) constantly accused her of cheating, so she had to unfriend all males on her Facebook, including her father; 13) threatened to leave when her anxiety and depression had her sleeping anytime she wasn't at work; and 14) when she finally took him up on his bluff it was during a terrifying food-throwing, soda-hurling, furniture-smashing temper tantrum that had her grab her cats from under the bed and come to my house 50 miles away.
I could go on, but remembering all that is turning my stomach. In cleaning her apartment afterward, we had to wash the walls from where he had done a Hollywood-style sweep of the coffee table top, spraying Dr. Pepper all over the carpet, TV and stand, wall, and canvas art, all the way to the ceiling. Then for good measure he smashed the coffee table.
He was a complete tool and with the help of a therapist she is finally getting back to the funny, intelligent, confident girl she was before he messed her head up. I am thrilled I don't have to dread that phone call... you know the one, where she was calling to say he'd beaten her (there would have been a long line of people wanting to pull his ball-strings up through his throat, believe me), or worse, one from a coroner."
Next time you see one of these 18 guys or girls in the wild — run, don't walk!