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17 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week March 5th 2017

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Updated

The truth isn't always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

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1. University bans phrases such as 'mankind' and 'gentleman's agreement' in favour of gender-neutral terms.

I wonder if that movie, She's The Man will be banned in the future?

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2. More than 100 diners flee Spanish restaurant without paying

"They can't make all of us wash dishes in the back!"

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3. Woman poisoned husband's cereal to avoid sex, say police.

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4. Cards Against Humanity creator to bombard senator's office with potatoes

Senators are crazy with their low-carb diets, that'll really get them.

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5. Amazon broke the internet with a typo.

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6. Russian MP calls Disney's 'Beauty and the Beast' gay propaganda.

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7. Local 5-year-old McDonald's cheeseburger doesn't look a day over 1.

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8. Sean Spicer’s tragic fall from grace as White House Easter Bunny.

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9. Pence used personal email for state business — and was hacked.

This is coming from the same guy who said that Hillary Clinton should be "disqualified" for being President - and her account wasn't hacked.

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10. Iowa Republican pushing education reform got his degree from Sizzler.

At least he didn't get it from Golden Corral.

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11. Commissioner blames 'those damn chicken nuggets' for drunk driving arrest.

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12. Police say they were 'authorized by McDonald's' to arrest protesters, suit claims.

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13. Sex wearable is coming to track your performance and judge you.

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14. Michigan only state that allows police to have sex with prostitutes during investigations.

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15. Texas Lawmakers Advance Bill That Would Allow Doctors to Lie to Pregnant Women.

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16. Judge throws drunk driver’s mom in jail for laughing at victim’s family in court.

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17. 67-year-old man dies from heart attack after catching prized Pokemon 'Lapras' at MBS.

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