When I was a kid, I really loved penguins. I think it mostly had to do with the fact that my older brother was obsessed with NHL legend Jaromir Jagr (who's still playing, by the way) and the Pittsburgh Penguins team. Couple that with the fact that Jean-Claude Van Damme starred in Sudden Death, which featured the Penguins as the hometown team in the movie, and the reasons to love the black-and-white beaked creatures just kept mounting.
So when I discovered that today is World Penguin Day (I didn't even know it was a thing until just now) I was stoked to brush up on my penguin knowledge. And of course, make a Jean-Claude Van Damme meme.
First things first, you gotta know the difference between different penguin species.
There's tons of different penguin varieties, so if you ever find yourself with a penguin snob you're trying to impress, (or a penguin you're trying not to offend) you should know the difference between them.
Despite living on ice, they kinda suck at walking on it.
Waddle, waddle, waddle, waddle, flap, flap, flap.
Penguins mate for life and even "propose" with pebbles.
The numbers of penguins that migrate north during the colder months is at an all-time high.
There used to be a species of penguin that nearly stood five feet tall.
Talking s**t about penguins is kinda hilarious because they're so damn cute.
Gentoo penguins are the fastest breed: They can swim up to 22 miles per hour.
The reason they're black-and-white? Camouflage.
Their black colors help them blend in with the bottom of the murky ocean. White bellies? Helps them to mesh with the bright light of the ocean sun.
Penguin fossils date back as early as 60 million years. That means they survived the mass extinction that killed off the dinosaurs.
Penguins molt all their feathers at the same time. It's called, in all seriousness, The Catastrophic Molt.
Penguins ingest a ton of seawater while hunting for fish, but they've got defense against that.
The supreorbital gland behind their eyes helps to filter out the seawater from entering their bloodstream. They then sneeze out excess seawater through their bills.
Most penguin species are part of huge colonies of around 1,000 birds.
Some species of male penguins are the ones that incubate eggs while females hunt.
In these colonies, the pudgiest penguins are the most desirable.
Penguins are involved parents. For example, both male and females will look after their kids for the first few months of their lives until they're old enough to feed themselves.
Emperor Penguins will kidnap other penguin babies.
There's nothing adorable or hilarious about this fact, but if a female penguin's baby dies, they're known to steal other chicks.
Penguins are usually really chill with people because they're not used to having predators on solid ground.
They're unexpectedly badass.
Look at them coming out of the water together like a bunch of bosses in unison. Man, they're so cool.
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