I learned to read fairly late in life when compared to all of the other kids in my elementary school. It wasn't until the end of second grade when I began picking up books and reading them on my own.
Once I did, however, I was hooked and some of my favorite stories were mysteries and whodunnits.
Now I was more of an Encyclopedia Brown kid, the Hardy Boys were kind of lame, and yeah, sure, there were some Boxcar children books I checked out.
But Encyclopedia Brown was basically Sherlock Holmes books for kids, which prepped me for some of the more adult mysteries that I soon jumped headfirst into. Now maybe I shouldn't have been reading murder mysteries with '50s dames and .38 specials, or some of Edgar Allen Poe's more macabre horror tales, because I didn't understand them, but it didn't change the fact I was obsessed.
But out of all the mysteries that tickled my fancy, the curious case of how this lipstick kiss ended up on the inside of a toilet bowl baffles me the most.
What would drive someone to do this? Were they getting a swirly? Which begs the greater question: why are there adults who are still giving other adults swirlies???
Or was this a lipstick loving child who decided to risk health and pride by kissing an actual toilet bowl mid-flush?
People on Twitter were as baffled as I was.
Some couldn't even be upset that something so gross even existed.
There were people who were absolutely horrified.
I mean, could you really blame them?
Others used it as an opportunity to make Bollywood movie references.
But the real question remained that no one was asking or offering an answer to: How in the world did it happen?
So people started offering their theories. And honestly, a few made some sense.
Like this one woman, who thinks that someone probably got so inebriated they'd actually be in the "right" mental state to kiss a toilet bowl.
All joking aside, that is a pretty good deduction, because one of two things may have happened after imbibing so much alcohol.
First: It could've been a dare. Someone could've gotten so schwasted that a game of dares occurred. The dares became progressively more insane and gross, until someone dared the drunk person to kiss the toilet bowl.
Second drunk possibility proposal: It could've been an accidental case of kissing the toilet bowl after barfing up the evening's beverages. An over-enthusiastic toilet bowl rusher could've dipped their head so far into the toilet bowl while puking that they mistakenly kissed the bowl.
But like all great mysteries, once you hear the most logical explanation, all other theories seem to immediately lose merit.
Like this guy's proposal of what actually went down.
Someone kiss a piece of tissue with lipstick on then press it again the inside of a toilet seat. Mystery solved. 😊— O.T (@O_THOMAS47) January 10, 2018
I have to say, I'm on team O.T on this one. Mostly because I don't want to believe that someone would actually put their lips on a toilet bowl.