If you've lived through college, you've probably had at least one awful, terrible roommate. New York Magazine recently published a story about a man who was many people's worst roommate, named Jamison Bachman. Bachman would move in with people and eventually drive them from their own homes, threatening them with legal action and violence. The story has left many people shook:
Journalist Gene Demby shared his own worst roommate story in honor of Bachman's lunacy, and asked people to share theirs:
This makes me wonder about your worst roommate stories. Go!— Gene “GD” Demby (@GeeDee215) February 21, 2018
I’ll start: came home one Sat and had an eviction notice on the door. Turns out roommate had been taking my rent money — at that point, $5K — to pay for his dues to his Scientology-lite cult group. https://t.co/jAd1YfXAyF
They sure had a lot of them! And it honestly makes me never want to trust anyone in my home ever again, but enjoy the vicarious cringing:
i had this roommate who would binge eat all my nutella and bread. and then get really apologetic and buy me another nutella and loaf of bread. and then binge that again. and then apologize. i would hide it in my room but he'd sneak in and ate it again. and then apologize, again.— ahmed ali akbar (@radbrowndads) February 21, 2018
Mine was a landlady who also lived in the house: she wouldn’t let me use the washer/dryer because “people are dirty” (direct quote) and, several times, woke me up at 3am to ask me if I’d been cooking.— Mallory Yu (@mallory_yu) February 21, 2018
She also stole all my mom’s care packages...and my passport...
I did manage to get the passport back through some finagling (i.e. I bribed her horrible son with $25 and candy to find it for me the night before I moved out)— Mallory Yu (@mallory_yu) February 21, 2018
This was in college, but my roommate hid a 4ft bald python under our bunk bed for 4 days before I found it.— ✌🏻 (@somuchbetter88) February 22, 2018
Our very first conversation involved my snake phobia so needless to say we were not off to a great start.
We lived in a studio apartment together. When I was sleeping, he would walk in, turn on the light, and start making dinner. When I was making dinner, he would turn off the light and go to bed. I got very good at cooking with my phone light. https://t.co/TNBk4UR0w5— Brian Hamilton (@_brianhamilton) February 21, 2018
He also changed the WiFi password and refused to give it to me.— Brian Hamilton (@_brianhamilton) February 21, 2018
When I lived in LA, my roommate bought two 'miniature' rabbits off a guy on the Venice Boardwalk. Needless to say, they soon became enormous, peed on everything, and because they were both male, had constant, terrifying, Watership-Down style fights to the near-death— Emily Gadek (@emilygadabout) February 21, 2018
In college, I had this dream that I was on a boat in the middle of a storm. I kept rocking back & forth, and thought I was going to die. When I woke up, I was still moving.— Steven Hyden (@Steven_Hyden) February 21, 2018
After 10 scary seconds, I realized my roommate was having sex in the lower bunk. https://t.co/mboYJKSbZC
College roommate abruptly stopped speaking to me; I alter came home to find her stuff gone. All she ever said was she "told housing services what [i] did." I later found out she was mad I didn't show enough respect when her boyfriend told me he was related to the Wright Brothers— amara (@caitlinamara) February 21, 2018
I had a roommate who would stress eat watermelon, then get drunk, then decide that her "food baby" was an actual baby, buy it baby clothes online, and then fall asleep and wake up the next day and do it all again. We had so many baby clothes.— Sara Lang (@SaraLang) February 21, 2018
Oh yes—we had a family displaced by flooding living with us (5 people plus a cat or two) decide it was the right time to buy a couple of full grown rabbits. It was not, in fact, the right time.— Valerie Quirey (@val_q) February 21, 2018
I had a roommate that would tell me i could eat anything in the fridge and borrow any of her clothes, but left notes on clothes saying “i wouldn’t wear this if i had YOUR figure,” or “don’t eat this, it’ll go straight to your big hips,” on the food.— MJ (@mccaelaaaa) February 22, 2018
Roommate went on probation and didn't tell anyone. Stopped showing up to check-ins and so his PO showed up at the house. This was in college... so you can imagine the type of things that were laying around— Manveer Heir aka King Curry Thunder (@manveerheir) February 21, 2018
WOW. This makes me so glad that my “worst roommate” stories are really mild. Freshman year of college, I roomed with a sleep-walker. Woke up to her sitting on top of me in the middle of the night on more than one occasion.— Dianna E. Anderson (@diannaeanderson) February 21, 2018
I mean nbd but my roommate poured her leftover spaghetti (like half a bowl) into our shared bathroom sink and tried to just "wash it down the drain"— (((Leah Donnella))) (@AskLeezul) February 21, 2018
My worst roommate was actually my dad. I stayed with him during the summer of 2012 for an internship. He didn't have an a/c and lived on the third floor of a 500 sq ft. apartment. He didn't have an a/c BECAUSE HE ENJOYED BEING HOT.— Victoria M. Walker (@vikkie) February 22, 2018
I had to sublet my room and the new girl's check bounced and she sent all my calls to voicemail. So I channeled my inner auntie and called everyone with her last name (which was Irish) in her home state (Massachusetts!) until I found her parents and they paid me.— Lakshmi Gandhi (@LakshmiGandhi) February 21, 2018
Had a roommate who tried to cure a vaginal yeast infection with honey we'd just bought together at the farmer's market -- while I was sitting 3 feet away from her at my desk.— 🙃 Kat Chow 🙃 (@katchow) February 21, 2018
But as Demby points out, sometimes it turns out that the worst roommate is actually YOU.
Please, do the dishes and keep the tarantulas in your bedroom.