We've all gotten a phone call from one of those scammers claiming to be the IRS. While it's simply an annoyance to most, some people, especially the elderly, unfortunately fall for this scam.
So when Twitter user Hadeel Al-Massari recently received a call from someone claiming to be the IRS and threatening to call the police on her, she decided to have some fun. Of course, she took to Twitter to see if people would be interested in reading a transcript...
It finally happened. I finally got a call from a scammer claiming to be the IRS and I could finally pull all of the tax law and privacy law I know out of my brain. This is a good day. This is MY day, people.— Let's Make a Ha-Deel (@twittysuch) April 3, 2018
Of course, people said yes.
Would anyone be interested in a summarized transcript because I recorded the call (I won't release the recorded call because I don't have the consent of who called me) but I can release a transcript?— Let's Make a Ha-Deel (@twittysuch) April 3, 2018
Some notes, though: I understand and respect that telemarketers (that's what they are) are just trying to do their jobs. We all have bills to pay. But the IRS phone scam is actually illegal and using threats of police violence or physical violence via the phone is illegal.— Let's Make a Ha-Deel (@twittysuch) April 3, 2018
Let's just say that they got trolled pretty hard...
THREAD -- SUMMARIZED TRANSCRIPT— Let's Make a Ha-Deel (@twittysuch) April 3, 2018
-I receive a phone call from someone with a Maryland phone number, they identify themselves as being from the IRS and that I have "defaulted" on my tax payments for 2017.
Considering that uh...tax day isn't even here yet and I know the IRS will never call you, I decided to put it on speaker phone and fire up Ye Olde Audacity to entertain myself while I wait for my morning tea to steep.— Let's Make a Ha-Deel (@twittysuch) April 3, 2018
Me: I defaulted on my tax payments? That sounds serious. Why wasn't I ever sent a bill?— Let's Make a Ha-Deel (@twittysuch) April 3, 2018
Person: You can take care of it over the phone with me. We take most major credit cards and prepaid Visa gift cards
Me: I'm gonna stop you right there. I want to know why I wasn't sent a bill.
Person: We send several bills, you ignored them.— Let's Make a Ha-Deel (@twittysuch) April 3, 2018
Me: Did I? I think I would have remembered getting a bill from the IRS.
Person: You chose to ignore them.
Me: No, I don't think I'd ignore a CP523. It's a pretty distinct looking envelope.
Person: No, we sent you a bill and--— Let's Make a Ha-Deel (@twittysuch) April 3, 2018
Me: It's called a CP523.
Me: The IRS doesn't send "bills". They're not Comcast. They send a CP523. I DID throw away a coupon for one of those Casper mattresses.
Person: Ma'am, if you don't take this seriously, we can send the police--— Let's Make a Ha-Deel (@twittysuch) April 3, 2018
Me: No, you can't.
Person: I WILL SEND THE POLICE.
Me: Ok, send them. I'll be waiting.
Me: I hear sirens, is that them? (I live next to a fire station) Is that....the police?
(aside: I'm trying my absolute best not to LOSE IT at this point because this is HILARIOUS)— Let's Make a Ha-Deel (@twittysuch) April 3, 2018
Person: -silence-— Let's Make a Ha-Deel (@twittysuch) April 3, 2018
Me: Do y'all take PayPal?
Me: What about bitcoin?
Person: We can take--
Me: You're committing a federal crime. Did you know that? Did you know you're breaking the law and you're not very good at it?
Person: *hangs up*
An Aside: I'm currently trying to figure out how to make the "I WILL SEND THE POLICE" my ringtone.— Let's Make a Ha-Deel (@twittysuch) April 3, 2018
We all wish we could pull this off. And apparently Twitter does too.
“You’re breaking the law— Reminiscences of an American Capitalist (@4Awesometweet) April 4, 2018
and you’re not very good at it.”
Some people have other methods...
I always pretend that the guy on the other end is some guy I dumped in high school, or who dumped me. "I know it's you, Joe! Why did it take you 30 years call? You owe me an apology!"— Lea Conner (@leaconner) April 4, 2018
This is beautiful. One called me a few years ago. I asked for his 379 IRS taxation identification code number (something I created on the fly). When he made one up I informed him it was 3 numbers short. He then hung up. It wasn’t nearly as glorious as this.— Lala (@pludulutch) April 4, 2018
My dad’s better though. He pretend that it was a helicopter start up sequence instead— Aaron (@McFazzer) April 4, 2018
The hero we need.