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Mom's Response To Her Daughter Calling Her 'Fat' Goes Viral

Allison Kimmey is a self-help author and mom, who writes a lot about body positivity and loving yourself as you are. Like most mom's, she's still had the experience of having one of her kids express an idea that she probably absorbed from our media. In a post on Instagram, she wrote, "My daughter called me fat today."

My daughter called me fat today. She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat. I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat. Me: "what did you say about me?" Her: "I said you were fat, mama, im sorry" Me: "let's talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It's not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy. Do you have fat?" Her: "yes! I have some here on my tummy" Me: "that's right! So do I and so does your brother!" Her brother: "I don't have any fat, I'm the skinniest, I just have muscles" Me: "actually everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts." Her brother: " oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me" Me: "Yes, that's true. Some people have a lot, and others don't have very much. But that doesn't mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand? Both: "yes, mama" Me: "so can you repeat what I said" Them: "yes! I shouldn't say someone is fat because you can't be just fat, but everyone HAS fat and it's okay to have different fat" Me: "exactly right!" Them: "can we go back to the pool now?" Me: no 🤣🤣 __________________ Each moment these topics come up i have to choose how I'm going to handle them. Fat is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable. Since we don't call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume she internalized this idea from somewhere or someone else. Our children are fed ideas from every angle, you have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friends house whose parents have different values, watching a tv show or movie, overhearing someone at school- ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds. It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest. Give me a 🙌🏻 if this resonated w u! Just do you! Xoxo Allie

A post shared by ALLIE 🌸 Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on

Kimmey decided she needed to get to the source of the problem, and shared her conversation with her two offspring with 100k followers:

She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat.
I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat.
Me: "what did you say about me?"
Her: "I said you were fat, mama, im sorry"
Me: "let's talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It's not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy. Do you have fat?"
Her: "yes! I have some here on my tummy"
Me: "that's right! So do I and so does your brother!"
Her brother: "I don't have any fat, I'm the skinniest, I just have muscles"
Me: "actually everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts."
Her brother: " oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me"
Me: "Yes, that's true. Some people have a lot, and others don't have very much. But that doesn't mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand?
Both: "yes, mama"
Me: "so can you repeat what I said"
Them: "yes! I shouldn't say someone is fat because you can't be just fat, but everyone HAS fat and it's okay to have different fat"
Me: "exactly right!"
Them: "can we go back to the pool now?"
Me: no 
Each moment these topics come up i have to choose how I'm going to handle them. Fat is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable.
Since we don't call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume she internalized this idea from somewhere or someone else. Our children are fed ideas from every angle, you have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friends house whose parents have different values, watching a tv show or movie, overhearing someone at school- ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds. It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest.
Give me a 🙌🏻 if this resonated w u!
Just do you!

We can't control everything our kids see and hear from other adults, kids, or even just what they pick up from observing the world around them, but a calm conversation can sometimes help to set them back on the right path. Kimmey is also trying to get more of her ideas about body positivity out there for folks who are trying to share these ideas with their own kids, announcing a new children's book on Instagram, as well:

I have been waiting for the perfect moment to announce this all to you, and I just can't wait ANY LONGER! I am humbled, blessed, overwhelmed, thankful, ecstatic, and just freaking JAZZED to share with you that the crazy talented and utterly bodacious bopo babe @full_of_freckles_illustrations will be partnering with me to bring my first body confidence children's book ✨Glitter Stripes✨ to LIFE! Please show her some love in the comments because this sneak peek gave me ALL THE FEELS😍😭!! Just do you! Xoxo Allie **Book will be available for pre-order THIS month and officially launch in the Fall of this year! Keep your eyes peeled for updates from both of us!** #Repost @full_of_freckles_illustrations ・・・ Big news‼️ Maybe you have seen this conversation below before? It is a conversation that @allisonkimmey had with her daughter. A beautiful moment that Allison wants to turn into a children's book. And I am the proud illustrator who is going to work with her to make this happen. How cool is that!! 😁So keep an eye out on this Instagram and @allisonkimmey her feed for more information in the future!! Because I am so excited about this I can't manage it to keep this quiet anymore! 🤓 ❣️ Today while I was laying at the pool with my daughter: Her: "Why is your tummy big mama?" Me: "What do you mean baby?" Her: "These lines, mama." (Pointing to stretch marks on my tummy) Me: "oh those are my stretch marks!" Her: "Where do they come from?" Me: "well when I was a little older than you, I got some stripes when I grew really fast! And some of these stripes are from when I had you growing in my tummy" Her: looking inquisitively Me: "They are shiny and sparkly, aren't they pretty?" Her: "yes, I like this one the best, it's so glittery. When can I get some?" Me: "oh you will get your glitter stripes when you get a little bit older baby!" ❣️

A post shared by ALLIE 🌸 Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on

And she also leads by example, showing her little girl exactly what a beautiful beach body looks like:

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