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15 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

The truth isn't always stranger than fiction but in these cases, it totally is.

1. Fox News Was Attacking Barack Obama For Using Dijon Mustard At This Point In His Presidency 

getty

Remember when this was the biggest scandal our President could get involved in?

2. After finding his doppelganger, Kansas City man is freed from prison 

johnson county pd mugshot

Well I'll be damned, it really was the evil twin.

3. Author eats his own book live on air after betting against Corbyn 

sky news video grab

"And let it be known I never back down from a bet! Unrelated: does anybody have any water?"

4. Plane hits gator on Orlando airport runway. Plane wins. 

Damn, I really had my money on the gator for this one.

5. Suspect allegedly shot man with shotgun shell filled with cereal 

eureka police department

Must...resist...cereal...killer...joke...

6. Disneyland guests smeared by massive dump of geese droppings 

What a crappy vacation.

7. Woman says pricey vitamin bottle from Shoppers Drug Mart was filled with dried pasta 

city news

I wonder what the nutritional benefits of pasta extract are?

8. Sydney gig shut down because band had too many members 

That venue must really hate K-Pop acts, then.

9. AI 'good for the world'... says ultra-lifelike robot

Of course you would think that, terror bot. Of course you would.

10. It's now legal to challenge someone to a duel in Canada 

A post shared by Jose Vargas (@mr_josevargas) on

First Trudeau, now this...if Canada do somehow make their winters not so brutal, I might move up there.

11. Saudi ad censors woman, replaces her with inflatable ball 

Marketers really need to cool it with these unrealistic body expectations of women.

12. Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald was just looking at tentacle porn for his family 

Octovase by #KeikoMasumoto via @colossal . . . #visualfodder @visual.fodder

A post shared by Visual Fodder 💎 (@visual.fodder) on

The kids wanted to know about octopuses the man was just doing his research.

13. Sadomasochist swingers club with torture dungeon shutdown over health and safety concerns 

What? No way!

14. Duchess of Cornwall 'knights farmer' with leek 

getty

Sir Davos!

15. Madrid bans 'manspreading' on buses 

A post shared by sit like a man (@sitlikeaman) on

Finally, something is being done about this horrible epidemic.

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