Who Would You Rather Be Alone in the Woods With a Bear or a Man? The Internet Debates the Question

“The bear won’t attack without provocation and even if it did I feel like the process is faster,” writes Mazie_wazie

Brandon Charles - Author
By

Apr. 26 2024, Published 5:49 p.m. ET

A brown bear lounging
Source: Getty Images

In a very, very good hypothetical posed on TikTok, which asks whether you'd rather be alone in the woods with a man or a bear, women are opting for the bear. Because this question was posed on social media, there’s an outcry of men who just do not understand.

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When you look at the horrible things that bears do to women alone in the woods compared with the horrible things men do to women in the woods, why would anyone expect anyone with side with the man?

A black bear in the woods
Source: Getty Images
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The "bear or man alone in the woods" question is a good question!

It’s a harmless question that’s fun! No one gets hurt in a thought experiment, even one that’s based in reality. Well, no one gets physically hurt; feelings appear to be getting hurt regardless of how people answer.

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Obviously most all of the women went with the bear. Same with the comments. Two of the most hearted comments do a fine job summarizing the logic behind choosing bear.

Mimi writes, “I live in rural Canada (lots of bears, lots of knowledge on bears) .... I'd still choose the bear.”

Mazie_wazie, which sounds like the name of a bear, writes, “The bear won’t attack without provocation and even if it did I feel like the process is faster.”

A brown bear family in the woods
Source: Getty Images
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It’s difficult to disagree with any of this logic. Yet some people do because, once again, it’s social media.

On Twitter/X, a platform that’s definitely built for this type of inane hypothetical, the debate rages. A tweet by @buggirl going viral reads, “men losing their fu— minds not being able to handle the fact that every single woman i’ve seen so far has chosen the bear in the alone in the woods with a bear vs. man hypothetical…… yes perhaps that is a contributing factor as to why the bear is the better option here.”

The replies on this tweet are way more vicious than what you’ll find on TikTok.

Not all people choose bears, but even men choose bears.

This is not an issue that has to divide men and women. Another very good tweet/TikTok that poses the man vs. bear question features a father who is sitting down with his daughter in his lap, answering this question.

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The dad chose the bear. He was right to choose the bear. The stats back up choosing the bear every single time. Not only are bears not as scary as man, they're not very dangerous.

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A brown bear family in the woods
Source: Getty Images

Bears are scary but they’re way less likely to murder you than a man.

According to BearVault, “Since 1784 there have been 66 fatal human/bear conflicts by wild black bears. Less than a dozen non-fatal conflicts happen each year, and the vast majority of encounters end with zero bodily contact.”

Wild brown bears stats are similar: “Since 1784 there have been 82 fatal human/bear conflicts by wild brown bears in North America. Yellowstone National Park has seen 8 since being established in 1872, one more than the number of people who have died from a falling tree.”

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