Single Woman Blasts Married Women for Being "Self Centered" and Ignoring Their Friends

Marriage is certainly time-consuming, and can often come at the expense of friends and family. There are only so many hours in the day, after all. Throw kids into the picture, and despite all the miracles that mothers pull off every single day, some things are inevitably left unattended.

This is a problem that Ashanti, who goes by @unpunishablewoman on TikTok, knows all too well. Recently, Ashanti took to the social media platform to vent about married women for not investing in their single friends.

"For some reason, single women are expected to forgive their married female friends for anything," Ashanti starts by stating. "We're meant to be understanding, ever available, ever accessible, okay?"

Ashanti goes on to state all the things expected of single women: "We're meant to support them through all of the life events that they experience. Pregnancy proposals, engagements, destination weddings."

Then goes on to blast married women for not returning the favor: "But rarely, if ever, do married women really allocate time and investment into their single friends' life events, whether that's a promotion, a career move, a moving home, travelling, any other achievement that isn't related to a man, isn't related to procreation."

The TikToker goes on to express some of the situations single women face, adding: "And I see a lot of single women express their hurt and their pain, their disappointment about the lack of investment, the lack of care that often their married female friends show."

Ashanti shares a recent personal experience: "I myself had many times where we've had an arrangement to meet up. I've made the effort. In fact, very recently, I travelled all the way to the U.K. because I had some work to do. And one or two of the arrangements I had were with married women. I got there on time, they were late. One forgot about the location altogether. Got there, she was distracted entirely with her children. It's like I've come from another country to catch up with you. We didn't have to do this."

"But if I say something, I'm being unreasonable," Ashanti adds. "I'm being oversensitive, I'm not understanding what it's like to be married and a married mother."

They go on to blast married women, saying, "Single women in your life are not just disposable accessories. Just because we might not be married, just because we might not be occupied with motherhood necessarily, it doesn't mean we've got endless free time whereby you can pick and choose if you want to call, text, check up on us."

Ashanti then continues: "I find it really interesting that a married friend is more likely to revel in a kind of, you know, mishap dating experience with me, for example. Just ask me how I am, ask me about the business I'm building, ask me about what's lighting me up right now."

The TikToker goes on to compare this to how single women act: "Whereas I'm more than happy I've been trained, sit there, observe and listen, show genuine interest in their family life, in an element of motherhood, in an element of their wifedom."

"The amount of times I've accompanied a married friend to buy a gift for their husband or organise an anniversary party, that same level of interest and commitment is not shown in the reverse quite often, and quite frankly, there's too many excuses being made that they're so occupied, so busy, apparently I should be okay with meeting a married friend for a coffee when the entire time they can't hold a conversation because they're with a child that needs their attention. So that child is drawing on the wall, running around the cafe, so you can't even get a sentence out, which means that most of the conversation actually is broken and about them."

Ashanti goes on to pre-emptively address backlash, stating: "When you say these things as a single woman, I see it all the time in the comments. People will say that you're bitter, unreasonable, that you're jealous, that you just don't understand what a married woman is experiencing. There is a very much a self-centredness that can develop within married women and their lives. Even though you benefit from having single female friends."

They go on to blast married women for treating single friends more like boyfriends: "There is a difference between single women and married women. Quite often the single women, we are quasi boyfriends and therapist to the married women, okay? When they're not being fulfilled emotionally in their marriage or even in the dating stages, we're the ones on the phone for hours. We're the ones helping them work through an emotion. It's all good when they need that emotional boyfriend type support, when they need a coach, a quasi therapist."

"But then after they've sorted out the issue or they've lost interest in you, you don't hear from them. I think that we need to be able to honour these experiences, at least acknowledge the way sometimes married women can be very self centred and actually they don't invest in the Friendships that they have with single female friends."

Ashanti concludes that single women are often "demonized," adding: "In fact, single female friends are often demonized even by their boyfriends and husbands, because there is a real score of thought that if you are a married woman, you shouldn't be hanging around with your single female friends. Because suddenly we're not good enough, suddenly we're high risk, suddenly we are a threat to your relationship with your husband."

The comments seemed to touch a nerve with many single women in the comments, with one writing: "And we’re not 'allowed' to be tired. Because how can we be really tired when we don’t have kids."

And another adding: "I got my second master's degree from Oxford, and not ONE friend celebrated me."

"Single women are always expected to check on their married friends who are pregnant or have already children," another added. "Checking on people should go both ways. Also, you being pregnant doesn’t make my accomplishments less important."

While another commenter added: "That’s why I stopped sharing my vulnerabilities with my married friends as I realized it was more a source of entertainment than actual care."