When it comes to strictly religious societies, there's a lot of shame and gossip that goes around. I wouldn't say it's the norm from the communities I grew up in. Most people just minded their business, went to the mosque, and did their own thing.
There were a few Judgey McJudgersons who kind of ruined it for everybody else, but for the most part, people were able to do what they want without much backlash from their families or community. Hell, I've gone pretty much full rogue and have managed to keep all of my Muslim friends and family members. My wife also used to wear hijab and has long since removed it and, with the exception of a few people who think it's their place to call her out on it (when I'm not around, I might add) nothing's really changed in her life.
But that's not to say there aren't still Islamic countries and communities that use the hijab as an excuse to control women. But to assume that the only reason a woman would wear hijab is due to her family forcing her to wear it, is pretty darn insulting to the woman wearing it.