Woman Accidentally Goes On Date With '97-Year-Old' And Shares All The Details
By Mark PygasUpdated
You NEVER know whats going to happen on the Internet. It could be anyone behind a screen telling you who they are, what they do, but until you actually meet them in person...you're in for a surprise.
Technology has revolutionized dating. In this day and age, you're only one right swipe away from meeting the love of your life. The issue? You're also one right swipe away from disaster. Cat fishing has become especially prevelant in online dating where people pretend to be someone else right up until the very last moment when you finally meet them. Take Twitter user Priya-Alika Elias, who recently shared the story of an OKCupid date that didn't go so great. In fact, she might have the funniest, albeit creepy, dating stories ever after her "date" turned up to be quite the misunderstanding.
Why? The guy she was chatting with ended up being about three times her own age. Yikes. Luckily for her she took it in stride for the most part.
omg did i ever tweet about the time i went on a date with a 97 year old. its my favourite old man story
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
impossible to tell anything from those pictures except that the person possesses part of a face. not to be faceist but i need a whole face
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
so i was like "okay cool this guy seems interesting let's meet"
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
he suggested dinner
at SIX PM
(at this point you may be wondering what he had listed his age as.
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
he hadn't
I KNOW
but there were a lot of blank spaces in his profile)
i walk in and spend ten minutes unwinding my scarf/taking off the 45 layers of outside clothes you need in Boston in January
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
i look around
i get a coffee and wait
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
5 minutes pass
10 minutes
then, TO MY EVERLASTING HORROR-THE PILE OF COATS MOVES
This is where it starts getting good. This has the making of a movie some day. Maybe starring the UP old man after he finally decided to get with the times and try dating again.
we are not talking old like your dad. we are not talking old like George Clooney. we are not talking old like "doesn't get memes" old
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
IT IS HARD TO PLACE AN AGE ON HIM BUT MY CONSERVATIVE ESTIMATE WOULD BE, 79
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
*remembers Donald Trump is 70*
NO, 89
"coffee keeps me up at night" OKAY MAN
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
anyway, he starts talking about travelling
i wanted to ask him what Vietnam was like in 1950
he gives me the most innocuous answer you can give anyone "i'm writing a book & i wanted to put something in about social media these days"
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
NBD right? anyway it's now 7 o clock and dude is like "i had better get going"
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
i was all solicitous like "of course! be careful out there"
And this is where things start taking a turn for the worse. Seriously, grandpa apparently has a pretty edgy side we didn't expect. Not so innocent anymore it seems.
he says "i live two blocks down and i dont really use my dick a lot but the women have told me they prefer my mouth"
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
i mean i know i did SOMEthing - laughed in a high pitch? excused myself? PAID FOR THE TEA, EVEN?- but we will never know what it was
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
I went home, took a bath, and deleted my Okcupid account -FIN
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
Some people understandably had doubts about the story, as it seems like you could never really go that far before realizing it, but Elias assured them it was all true. We're glad cause we want to believe because it's just too good of a tale not to be true.
@j3fk exactly. i could have made up a WAY better story than this one. this story is inferior bc it's the truth
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
@j3fk mate it was an unfinished profile. also i didn't change his age. i was exaggerating at the beginning when i said 98 or w/e, like he wasn't
— CAT GRANDMA (@priya_ebooks) May 10, 2017
Others were terrified.
@priya_ebooks nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
— shrill 🇺🇸🌲🏀 (@theshrillest) May 10, 2017
@priya_ebooks I fell back asleep for a few minutes after reading this and I dreamt out the entire sitch and OH MY GOD
— folu (@notfolu) May 10, 2017
Whose granddad is this?!