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15 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week, June 17th 2017

By

Updated

The truth isn't always stranger than fiction but in these cases, it totally is.

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1. Fox News Was Attacking Barack Obama For Using Dijon Mustard At This Point In His Presidency 

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Source: getty
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Remember when this was the biggest scandal our President could get involved in?

2. After finding his doppelganger, Kansas City man is freed from prison 

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Source: johnson county pd mugshot

Well I'll be damned, it really was the evil twin.

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3. Author eats his own book live on air after betting against Corbyn 

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Source: sky news video grab
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"And let it be known I never back down from a bet! Unrelated: does anybody have any water?"

4. Plane hits gator on Orlando airport runway. Plane wins. 

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Damn, I really had my money on the gator for this one.

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5. Suspect allegedly shot man with shotgun shell filled with cereal 

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Source: eureka police department
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Must...resist...cereal...killer...joke...

6. Disneyland guests smeared by massive dump of geese droppings 

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What a crappy vacation.

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7. Woman says pricey vitamin bottle from Shoppers Drug Mart was filled with dried pasta 

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Source: city news
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I wonder what the nutritional benefits of pasta extract are?

8. Sydney gig shut down because band had too many members 

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That venue must really hate K-Pop acts, then.

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9. AI 'good for the world'... says ultra-lifelike robot

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Of course you would think that, terror bot. Of course you would.

10. It's now legal to challenge someone to a duel in Canada 

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First Trudeau, now this...if Canada do somehow make their winters not so brutal, I might move up there.

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11. Saudi ad censors woman, replaces her with inflatable ball 

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Marketers really need to cool it with these unrealistic body expectations of women.

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12. Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald was just looking at tentacle porn for his family 

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The kids wanted to know about octopuses the man was just doing his research.

13. Sadomasochist swingers club with torture dungeon shutdown over health and safety concerns 

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What? No way!

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14. Duchess of Cornwall 'knights farmer' with leek 

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Source: getty
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Sir Davos!

15. Madrid bans 'manspreading' on buses 

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Finally, something is being done about this horrible epidemic.

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