This Woman Suspects Her Lizard Is Capable Of Murder And The World Agrees
After this woman revealed that she believed her reptile was out to kill her, the Internet seemed to agree.
Twitter user @danisnobunk is the proud owner of a bearded lizard named Petey, who went somewhat viral online for her habit of enjoying bath time with mom, from a flamingo-shaped floatie.
This is a lizard with a lot of personality:
But does Petey have a dark side?! Her owner posted this pic, and it looks pretty suspicious.
"I think my lizard may have murdered someone," she writes.
Cop cars surround the house, Petey looks out at the scene then over at her owner as though to say, "Well, they've come for me."
Fans of Petey are pretty ready to believe the worst:
"'I'm innocent mom, really I am!' My beardies give me the same look all the time," wrote one person on Twitter, impersonating, or rather, personalizing (anthropomorphizing?) this scaly reptile.
I personally love when people write or talk or tweet in the voices of other animals. For example, I had a friend who once wrote a novel from the perspective of her dog. Actually, I think it was many dogs, and they switched vantage points throughout the work. Think Virginia Woolf's The Waves. Anyway, it was an absolutely spectacular novel, except she wasn't able to sell it to anyone because agents (and the literary community at large?) seem to think there's no room for that in 21st century literature.
On behalf of her, and of this person writing in the voice of this lizard, I would like to say they've missed an excellent opportunity and I hope my friend gets her revenge by selling to to whoever made Isle of Dogs.
Even the police:
Not to typecast, but Petey looks pretty familiar:
Though animals do look pretty suspicious most of the time:
Is Petey guilty? Is @danisnobunk harboring a criminal?
If so, she seems okay with it.