Katherine Backstrom, a mom and blogger, recently took to Facebook to share a post written by an unknown parent about the stage every mother and father fears: the terrible twos. And the post has caused quite a debate between parents.
Backstrom shared the post, which has acquired over 200,000 shares and 100,000 likes alongside a photo of her own daughter having a moment.
The post reads:
“I am 2. I am not terrible…I am frustrated. I am nervous, stressed out, overwhelmed, and confused. I need a hug.
From the diary of a 2-year-old:
Today I woke up and wanted to get dressed by myself but was told 'No, we don’t have time, let me do it.'
This made me sad."
"I wanted to feed myself for breakfast but was told, 'No, you’re too messy, let me do it for you.'
This made me feel frustrated.
I wanted to walk to the car and get in on my own but was told, 'No, we need to get going, we don’t have time. Let me do it.'
This made me cry.
I wanted to get out of the car on my own but was told 'No, we don’t have time, let me do it.'
This made me want to run away."
The post basically looks at how infuriating it must be for a two-year-old who's experiencing the world for the first time to have impatient people around.
"Later I wanted to play with blocks but was told 'no, not like that, like this…'
I decided I didn’t want to play with blocks anymore.
I wanted to play with a doll that someone else had, so I took it. I was told 'No, don’t do that! You have to share.'
I’m not sure what I did, but it made me sad. So I cried. I wanted a hug but was told 'No, you’re fine, go play.'
I’m being told it’s time to pick up. I know this because someone keeps saying, 'Go pick up your toys.'
I am not sure what to do, I am waiting for someone to show me.
'What are you doing? Why are you just standing there? Pick up your toys, now!'"
"I was not allowed to dress myself or move my own body to get to where I needed to go, but now I am being asked to pick things up.
I’m not sure what to do. Is someone supposed to show me how to do this? Where do I start? Where do these things go? I am hearing a lot of words but I do not understand what is being asked of me. I am scared and do not move.
I lay down on the floor and cry.
When it was time to eat I wanted to get my own food but was told 'no, you’re too little. Let me do it.'
This made me feel small. I tried to eat the food in front of me but I did not put it there and someone keeps saying 'Here, try this, eat this…' and putting things in my face."
"I didn’t want to eat anymore. This made me want to throw things and cry.
I can’t get down from the table because no one will let me…because I’m too small and I can’t. They keep saying I have to take a bite. This makes me cry more. I’m hungry and frustrated and sad. I’m tired and I need someone to hold me. I do not feel safe or in control. This makes me scared. I cry even more.
I am 2. No one will let me dress myself, no one will let me move my own body where it needs to go, no one will let me attend to my own needs."
"However, I am expected to know how to share, “listen”, or “wait a minute”. I am expected to know what to say and how to act or handle my emotions. I am expected to sit still or know that if I throw something it might break….But, I do NOT know these things.
I am not allowed to practice my skills of walking, pushing, pulling, zipping, buttoning, pouring, serving, climbing, running, throwing or doing things that I know I can do. Things that interest me and make me curious, these are the things I am NOT allowed to do.
I am 2. I am not terrible…I am frustrated. I am nervous, stressed out, overwhelmed, and confused. I need a hug."
The post has attracted quite a few comments, with many people arguing just how patient parents should be when their toddlers freak out. One user wrote...
"LOVE! Little doesn't mean lesser! Little guys and gals need big love and someone ready to stop talkng and listen, even when no words are said. Respect your babies."
Another commenter added:
"This made me cry. I try so hard to be a great mom. I have a 7 year old and a 1year old. I let my 7 year old dress herself and I try to work with both in learning how to do things. It's frustrating sometimes but I want them to feel like a person not a robot that is told commands all the time."
"Life itself is chaos but the little moment with your children last a lifetime. They will never remember why we in a hurry or why we late. They will remember Mom let me do this or that on my own. I would rather be late for something than destroy my children's memories. But that's just me."
One commenter added:
"My two year old turns three next month she is moving on from a 'terrible' two to a threenager. It's frustrating for both mother and toddler alike."
Another blamed society.
"The issue isn't parents it's laws and society forcing us to conform to Thier ways of living such as kids have to be at school one time so we dress them to speed up the process."
"We work tons of hours to pay for the things we need such as food our home the car we drive then we work more cause three taxes suck is dry. I know I try to allow as much independence for all 4 of my children. It's ruff. And trying to explain it to them doesn't always work."
One mother wrote...
"We all did this to our kids. We’re human. But also my life doesn’t revolve around my kids 24/7. Sometimes.. just sometimes moms and dads have things they need to do, and quickly. My kids may not be perfect, but they survived. They are all old enough now to do just about anything now."
"I don’t feel guilty about being a parent. I don’t believe in putting them in bubbles and learning “no” and “wait” because in life those are words they have to get used to. I’ve also taught them manners and how to treat people with respect."
"(which is something 87% of people don’t teach their kids anymore) 2 year olds suck, 3 year olds are worse, but in the end if you raise them with respect, discipline and love they usually will be fine. So, don’t feel guilty for telling your kid to wait, or “no” or eat what I put in front of you.. because YOU are the parent and YOU make the rules."
What do you think of the post?
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