Ah, unrequited love! When the passions in our hearts burn so fiercely that we completely embarrass ourselves for the objects of our desire. Pretty much everyone has loved and been spurned at least once in their lives. Consider yourself lucky if it ended there.
Journalist Nicole Cliffe shared an advice column on Twitter from the blog Captain Awkward. The advice went to someone who had been dumped, but was continuously sending the person who dumped them notes and cacti as a sign of their devoted love.
"I sent her cacti (sentimental symbol for us), one each day for a week, each with a sentimental note. Nothing in reply."— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) March 19, 2018
I wish this person had written to me instead so I could have illustrated my column with this gif. https://t.co/xohwK2bFCy pic.twitter.com/i3GL1OqwqK
The person who got dumped received their Dear John letter via text message, which Cliffe approved of:
I do not usually endorse text message breakups after a six month relationship but based on the LW's subsequent stalking-adjacent behavior, I think the ex made the safe and correct call.— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) March 19, 2018
But then she admitted that she could relate to the dumpee: she too had once crossed some boundaries post-break up.
When I was a very young thing I once did the bad thing the LW did (show up outside the dumper's place of work to make them talk to me) and it is pretty much a universal sign that you have lost the plot.— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) March 19, 2018
Cliffe's confession inspired people to start sharing some instances where they refused to accept that something was O-V-E-R.
I’ve blogged about this: I showed up at my crush’s house and got his roommate to let me in so I could leave a love letter on his pillow.— Captain Awkward (@CAwkward) March 19, 2018
Oh god! I just realized I made the same guy break up with me two times in ten days because I wouldn’t allow the first one to take!!!! I’d blocked that out.— Heather Kinion (@fire4hairlady) March 20, 2018
Uggggh I did that once. He pushed shopping carts at wal mart and I stood in front of the carts so he’d talk to me and I want to die remembering it.— Maren Benson (@marenlibrarian1) March 20, 2018
Freshman year of high school I liked a girl and burned her eight mix cds. Eight.— Aileen Catherine (@armorWolfSkin) March 20, 2018
She did not ask for them.
I sent a letter to her at work, conspicuously marked PERSONAL, two years after we broke up, because I heard she was leaving the company where we worked together and I had since left. Twenty years later I'm still mortified by how disrespectful and invasive my behavior was.— Michael Bartolone (@msbartolone) March 19, 2018
In the days of AIM came up with a fake screen name to talk to my college crush and pretend like I was someone he had known in school. Yikes.— Ameera Butt (@meerabee) March 19, 2018
People felt warmed knowing that they weren't the only idiots out there:
These comments are actually really nice to read. I've spent a long time thinking I was absolutely insane for having done shit like this. Thank you all for making me feel a little less alone and like I'm allowed to be ashamed of the person I'm trying not to be.— ya gurl (@frecklesnchucks) March 20, 2018
Cliffe liked the response so she solicited more embarrassing love stories from her followers:
And they delivered:
I burned a CD for a guy I liked in high school with all his favourite songs and he gave it to another girl as a gift. 🤦🏻♀️— Nicole Barbosa (@NicoleBarbosaPR) March 19, 2018
In seventh grade, my crush told me he wanted a sax solo in jazz band so I went out and learned how to play the sax and took his solo so he’d be impressed by me. I was very surprised when he then didn’t talk to me for YEARS.— Sara Lang (@SaraLang) March 19, 2018
In the words of Leslie Knope, men love it when you're better at something they love.— Lucy Steigerwald (@LucyStag) March 19, 2018
in 6th grade i had a crush on a boy so i tried to Woo Him by dressing Exactly Like Him (??? god i was so trans) & then, when that didn't work, I sent him a locker note "do u ❤️ me? check yes or no" Y'all his friends found it first & the entire lunch room laughed at me— Mickey (@beevhumbug) March 19, 2018
Ummmmm I was broken up with in his mom’s kitchen after he BROUGHT ME HOME TO MEET HIS FAMILY for the first time :( and then I kept...doing the dishes ... because i thought it would make him see I was useful ... ??????— Caro (@socarolinesays) March 19, 2018
I mean wouldn’t you change your mind? The colander had never looked better— Caro (@socarolinesays) March 19, 2018
i officiated his playground wedding to my best friend— Caroline Framke (@carolineframke) March 19, 2018
I picketed the opening of a Hooters at the instigation of a very feminist crush— "Christianity and Crisis" Actor (@bendueholm) March 19, 2018
I told a TA I had a crush on that I needed a letter of recommendation for an internship when I did not. Let him write a bunch of nice things about me, then just opened it and read it. I still have it somewhere.— Alison Cherry (@alison_cherry) March 19, 2018
I went to a department store, got full make up done by one of the makeup artists and went to my then girlfriend’s house to show her because she always nagged me about making more of an effort and I wanted to surprise her and she critiqued my make up while I stood on her porch.— roxane gay (@rgay) March 20, 2018
When I was a tall young miss in middle school, I wanted to slow-dance with a boy much shorter than I. He declined, I figured because of the height differential. So as the strains of “Endless Love” filled the school gym, I knelt down before him and asked, “How about like this?”— Julie (@alittlepregnant) March 19, 2018
Got dumped in a chat room with all my friends in it. Asked her to take me back. She said maybe and then gave a hard yes to a date with my best buddy. Wild night— Brett Murphy (@BrettMmurphy) March 19, 2018
*reads thread*— Leah McElrath 🗽 (@leahmcelrath) March 19, 2018
Wait, so I'm the only one who ran down an icy, snowy street late at night - barefoot and in my underwear - and jumped on the hood of his car to keep him from leaving after a fight?
Clearly you people don't know from truly embarrassing love 😘
Phew! This is really putting some of the stuff I did as a teen...and an adult...in perspective.
I do not know why it's so cathartic to see OTHER people admit their humiliations for the sake of love, but by golly it sure is.— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) March 19, 2018
Any of these stories dredge up memories for you?