When you were exchanging best friends forever bracelets with your BFF, you never imagined you would ever break up — but it happens.
Sometimes life gets in the way of what you thought would be a lifelong friendship. However, you can't blame yourself.
Some friendships just don't stand the test of time, and these redditors shared the very relatable reasons they no longer talk to their former best friends.
So, it's time to take off that "BFF 4 Eva" bracelet and find the next member of your girl (or boy) squad. Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte probably have...
1. Girl code is sacred.
"We were completely inseparable through middle and high school and had always planned to stay together through college. She didn't get into my choice schools, so (being an extremely dumb and anxious teenager) I foolishly agreed to attend a second-rate school with her instead... as not to be alone.
Shortly before the start of our freshman year of college she informed me she was no longer going to school with me and was instead moving to NYC to live with a guy she met on the internet. She'd known this for months but neglected to tell me until it was too late to do anything about it."
2. You just grow apart.
"Just kind of faded out. We had different friend groups as adults, and as time went on the once a week dinner turned into once a year. Once a year turned into not even talking at all."
"Just realized yesterday this is happening with my old best friend. Hadn't hung out in weeks, then months, then a year. She couldn't come to my wedding at the last minute... and this was the first year she did not text me happy birthday. Sucks but.. what can you do."
3. People change.
"She changed completely our senior year of high school. We were the exact same person, loved the same things, got along like sisters. Then she started prepping for her freshman year of college at a southern school, and completely overhauled her life to look 'perfect' for the sororities. She started partying, only hanging out with the 'cool kids,' refusing to let me tag her in photos, and just became really focused on her appearance (not just physical, but how her whole life appeared to an outsider). It's like she lived her life as an Instagram model. Everything had to look perfectly perfect. We just faded out and stopped talking because I didn't fit her new life.
I still think about her a lot because we were so close and I've never had a friend remotely as close to me as her. It hurts a lot that she just changed and left me behind and didn't seem to care."
4. Seriously, dude.
"He 'borrowed' my $600 guitar amp for a show and never gave it back. We were friends since the third grade."
5. In sickness and in health?
"I got ill, regular doctor's appointments and didn't have the energy to do lots of activities. They just stopped talking to me and blanked me when they saw me."
"Same here. Fell really ill right after college. Basically all of my friends stopped talking to me because I was depressed and too sick to go out anywhere. That was a few years ago, and I'm still very lonely."
6. The final straw.
"After several years just realized I always felt awful about myself after leaving his and his family’s presence. Our mutual friends had a saying “it’s not a trip to XXXX’s house until you get criticized. From the clothes you were wearing, to how dirty your car is, just a barrage of s--t.
The final straw was when I was dating my now wife, we went to go hang out at his house, and he immediately pounces on my appearance (was wearing a hardhat all day so my hair looked a little funky), then handed me a bag of aluminum cans for me to recycle 'and put towards my house fund' (was in deep saving mode). Fortunately my wife was a good sport, but realizing what the hell this guy was trying to accomplish... embarrassing me in front of someone I’m interested in for no reason at all? Walked out after that and never looked back. Cut out completely."
7. Friendship is a two-way street.
"They stopped putting in the effort to hangout. I was always the one trying to get together and they would blow me off almost every time. Finally, I stopped trying and now we don’t talk at all!"
"This I can relate. I lost two friends like this because I finally just stopped trying. To hell with them."
8. Low-key frenemy.
"She couldn't stop smack talking me to everyone. She had incredibly low self-esteem and when I met her, so did I. But each step I took towards being more confident in herself, she saw as a threat.
I started working out and losing weight? She told everyone that I was trying to look better than her; eventually that turned into 'she stopped going to the gym and just did coke to stay thin.' Nope, never done hard drugs in my life and I was attending double sessions at the gym.
I started seeing this guy who was really sweet and nice to me; she said I was just seeing him to show her what a jerk her boyfriend was.
I was getting a dog after moving out of the apartment; she said I was doing it to taunt her since her new place didn't allow dogs and mine did (I specifically looked for dog-friendly places).
I'd hang out with different groups of people because my anti-depressants had kicked in and I wanted to be social again; she said I was going out to make her feel bad for not having friends. Except that I'd invite her to come. But she told me she didn't like those people (whom she'd only met once and was rude to the entire time).
I changed my major to business while she was in writing because I found business to be ridiculously easy; she said I did it because I wanted to make her feel poor after graduation.
My parents rented a place at the beach and I invited her along and told her that they'd cover expenses because my parents remembered being poor college students and wanted us to have good meals and fun; she went but later said I invited her along because I wanted to show off my family's wealth. We went off-season to a cheap place within driving distance.
It got to the point where I couldn't say any longer that the people telling me these things were lying. It seemed like almost every day I was telling someone they must have misunderstood her, that she wouldn't say that. But nope. She reveled in being a frenemy and I thought I had a friend. I distanced myself and she went nuclear. I had friends send me screenshots of the insane messages she was sending them about me, completely unprovoked. We haven't been on speaking terms in almost a decade."
9. Fake friends.
"Turns out they weren’t really friends at all. Lot of lies, manipulation, being used by them. It took me many years to understand what true friendship means. But at least now I know that I can trust those around me."
10. Compromise is key.
"I was best friends with someone for 12 years and we did everything together. Well, everything that she wanted. It was always about her and her schedule, never compromising for me. I went to every event she had, even her parents' anniversary dinner.
One year my mother had just passed away and I was home alone. I asked her to come over and she said she was going to a friend's house to party because she broke up with her boyfriend. We haven't spoken to each other in probably two years and I've never been happier."
11. New phone, who dis?
"Ghosted me after 15 years of friendship. Went to his house one day to ask if things are okay, that if he's going through something. He told me things are okay and that he's just busy. I started to leave his house and I told him 'text me.' He smiled and went into his house. That was the last thing I've ever said to him. Haven't seen him in over three years."
"She ghosted me after about 20 years of friendship. I foolishly didn't see it coming, and tried for a few months to call, text her. No response. I grieved for a long time. Long time."
12. Bye, Felicia.
"She decided one day she didn’t want to live with me and left with only 20 days notice when we had 1.5 years left on our lease. She said she would only pay for half the fees because I lived there and even though she was leaving it’s still my responsibility. She moved out and left me with an empty room, $500 dollars less for rent, and no roommate the week before finals. We will never talk again."
13. Gone but not forgotten.
"We went different ways in life. Jobs and schooling took us away from one another. I've come to realize that most friends in your life will just be temporary. That's not a bad thing, you're there for each other to help one another move through a certain stage of life. When life inevitably leads you down a different path don't be bitter. Be grateful that you met."
Don't forget to hug your best friend today.
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