Going from having no kids to all of a sudden being responsible for a human life is a huge transition. After the first few initial months of worrying if every move you make or even worse, don't make, will somehow create a butterfly effect that'll result in the death of your offspring, you start to settle in the role of parent.
You expect the unexpected, you are bestowed new reflexes and situational awareness to break their fall or stop them from toppling onto their heads. You create a routine for them and help them stick to it. You manage to get some date nights with your SO and you find that adjusting to the life of a parent wasn't only just doable but actually pretty awesome.
Then you have baby number 2 and think to yourself, "Oh, I've got this parenting thing on lock what could possibly go- OH MY GOD!" Yes, as Jim Gaffigan so eloquently puts it, having another child is like you're drowning and then someone hands you a baby. It's not easy raising both a toddler and infant at the same time. It requires patience. Grace. And most important of all - a sense of humor.
So judging by these Chrissy Teigen tweets, she's more than ready to take on raising a second human being.
1. She already knows the post-delivery protocol.
2. And that the "mom mantle" doesn't all of a sudden change who you are.
thank you for all the well wishes!!! we are so happy and excited! i dunno what to tweet now. does my twitter change? this is so awkward— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) April 17, 2016
3. She knows that providing sustenance to your children has its challenges.
4. Many, many challenges.
just spray tanned around my breast pump outline. the logistical challenges of a healthy beach glow while boobing are incredible— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) May 7, 2016
5. And that internet moms can be some of the most judgmental people in the world.
6. And if you plan on trying to mommy shame her, well, she will put you on blast.
"i never wanted to leave my daughter, i love her, BUT THAT'S JUST ME" - the passive aggressiveness is real!— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) April 24, 2016
7. We all know what she's capable of, so don't try it.
8. She already has various and sundry paparazzi-fooling tactics at her disposal.
9. She knows the horrors children are capable of, as well.
10. And knows the emotional rollercoaster that she's in for.
when luna is awake i want her to sleep and when she is asleep i want her awake. this is my parenting life.— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) January 18, 2017
11. She's well aware of the fact that things can go from glamorous to not so glamorous rather quickly.
12. As well as the changes her body is ultimately going to undergo.
I feel like tiny underpaid workers are putting my uterus back together and they're super bitter about it so they aren't doing a good job— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) August 23, 2016
13. They're just stretch marks.
14. She also knows that reciprocated love is a long game.
15. She knows how to reach out to the mom community for support, too.
16. She also knows how to appreciate the infinite capacity for randomly funny and weird things kids do.
17. She also knows how to enjoy the perks of having kids even if they can't participate in securing said perks.
18. She's already braced for the "mom-isms."
I have discovered a mother's favorite thing to say: "it's not terrible twos it's terrible THREES ahahahah"— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 29, 2017
19. She knows to not even waste her time on the car seat thing and leave it up to someone else.
20. She's reached peak parenthood where a crying baby is weirdly a sense of comfort for her.
There is a baby crying on the plane but I don't mind it because it reminds me of Luna. Who am I please send help— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) January 7, 2017
21. Motherhood hasn't dragged down her justified insult game, either.
22. She already knows how to improvise to capture those special family moments.
23. And is determined to make sure she doesn't raise scumbags.
It's always awesome to see awesome moms, and Chrissy Teigen is one of them.