Celebrities! They're just like us! Except not really, since they can afford to always smell their best, even on the hottest, most disgusting days.
Although you expect every famous person to smell like an expensive bottle of perfume, that's not always the case. From cigarettes to baby wipes, see what your fave celebs' unique, quirky scents are like. Including, of course, the person we've all been wondering about, Post Malone. What does he smell like?
"Brad Pitt smells amazing, like nothing I've ever smelled," Jennifer's Oscar date told Today. "Eventually we ask what cologne he's wearing and he tells us, 'I don't wear cologne, it's just my musk I guess.' I have to choose not to believe him because it would just be unfair to mankind."
And speaking of Jennifer, she says she smells like booze, which we totally believe. "My signature scent probably is already red wine,” she told Glamour. "I’m sure it’s always seeping from my pores. I smell like a cabernet.”
According to Chrissy Teigen, the former first lady smells "like orchids." A writer who was lucky enough to bask in Michelle's presence earlier this year confirmed it, too. "Michelle Obama smells amazing," she wrote. "I could never put my finger on it, but when she hugged me with her incredibly toned arms, the first thing I thought was holy s--t Michelle Obama is giving me a hug, and secondly, wow she smells so good."
Although you'd think Kanye would be vain enough to simply wallow in his own musk, according to Kim Kardashian, he actually smells of cold, hard cash. "I can’t explain it, but like a rich person," she told The Cut. "Like … money, I don’t know! He smells like what you think a really expensive, Saint Laurent fragrance campaign would be."
Although Tina Fey's character in 30 Rock once joked that Oprah smelled like "rosewater and warm laundry," the reality is that she's actually an ethereal being who smells like rare, precious stones. "She smelled wonderful," James Marsden said on Conan. "She smelled like diamonds.”
When Harry appeared on Carpool Karaoke in 2018, host James Corden revealed that the former One Directioner smelled like " summer in a bowl." He added, "It’s like the bottom of your bag when you get back from the beach." How...poetic?
Most people think Queen Bey smells like angels and cocoa butter, and according to model Winnie Harlow, they aren't that far off the mark. "[She smells like] cocoa butter and lemons,” she revealed on Watch What Happens Live. Oo, we were close!
The eccentric actor isn't big on personal hygiene or dousing himself in cologne. In a GQ profile piece about him, the writer revealed he smelled "like cigarettes and not deodorant." Huh.
Back in 2010, David Letterman told her she smelled like "expensive wood" — whatever that means. However, earlier this year, a BBC reporter actually told her she needed to take a shower. I guess this means she smells like old trees? Well, she did grow up on a Christmas tree farm.
There are at least a few threads on reddit with people speculating on what the heavily tattooed rap artist smells like. The comments are colorful but not very kind. "He looks like he smells like the inside of Walter White's camper," suggests one user, while another says, "He looks look like he smells like a wet basement."
There was even a hoax article circulating in September that said his manager quit over his rankness, describing the smell as resembling "expired milk and moldy cheese." Scuze me, just gotta barf real quick.
However, this never actually happened — hence the word hoax — and a few people who've met Post say he smells fine. Though the "White Iverson" artist admits he doesn't really do deodorant, he insists the ladies enjoy his "natural musk."
"I smell good. I smell like a normal person," he wrote on a Facebook thread while participating in GQ's "Actually Me" video series. "But I don't smell bad, that's a common misconception. And I did a poll with people around town and the consensus is that I don't smell." While that study wouldn't stand up to scientific scrutiny, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
No surprise here, but our boyfriend Ryan Gosling smells pretty darn good. "Very Gosling-esque," a fan once described it as. "Very clean."
During a 2010 interview, Steve Carell got weirdly specific when describing his costar's musk. "It’s a sweet citrus, but it changes during the day," he told Entertainment Weekly. "I think in the morning… It’s very sweet and citrusy in the morning. It mellows by the afternoon into…more of a burnt, woody — no, I shouldn’t say that." Too late.
The late musician's smell was so iconic, people who knew him said they could always smell him coming. "The thing that was funny was you never saw Prince [ﬁrst], you smelled him," Corey Tollefson said. "He always smelled like lavender. And you knew when he was there because you'd turn around and go, 'Holy $#!*, I smell Prince.' And then, ten seconds later, you'd see him."
Big Bang Theory's Jim Parsons was once stuck in an elevator with Rih-Rih — so, naturally, he smelled her. "[She smelled] like heaven," he told Ellen Degeneres. A fan who got to ride in a plane with her confirmed this. "She smells great!"
He might look like he smells like smoke and socks, but according to model Xenia Deli, he smells like cologne. "He smelled like he had very good taste in perfume — and it smelled like an expensive one," she told Teen Vogue. Booooring.
Some lucky young fans who got to meet her last year said she smelled like "fresh baby wipes." At least she knows the importance of personal hygiene.
Her old roommate, who apparently had an axe to grind, revealed that the rapper smelled "like fish." Wow, rude much?
The Breaking Bad star apparently "smells delicious."
“We sniffed each other," actress Jennifer Garner said. "We checked out each other’s feet. This is true. But Bryan smells delicious. He smells, you know, like Ivory soap, and I would sniff him, you know, anytime." Wait, is this a normal thing actors do?
According to Courtney Love, when Russell tried to hit on her several years back, she turned him down because of his odor. "He is a little musky," she revealed. "We did yoga together and the musk was there.”
Those who've graced the fashion icon's presence say he smells like "fresh, ironed linen." Surprising, but not really.
According to her ravenous Little Monsters, Lady Gaga's smell ranges from cigarettes to coconuts, with one fan being very adamant about a particular type of scented lotion she wears:
"When I met her at the Fame Ball, I held her hand as we talked and, like the freak I am, I smelled it afterwards and it smelled like that Vanilla scented lotion you get at bath and body works. Let's just say I wore that lotion for the next 2 years. Haha I always think of her now when I smell it. "
None of this is creepy at all.