Have you ever noticed that tiny dogs always seem to be pluckier and more IDGAF-bout-nothin' than their larger, canine counterparts?
Be it shivering chihuahas, yappy yorkies, or hyperactive jack russells, tiny dogs always act like they've got something to prove.
Maybe because they're so small in stature they make up for it by having lots of character. Or maybe it's because they're so little and are constantly living in fear from bigger animals, that they don't take a single day of life for granted. Or maybe it's a combination of both.
But for some reason, I always seem to remember the smaller, pluckier dogs in my life as having the largest personalities. And Chunk is one of those dogs.
Things overheard whilst a zippy Pomeranian named "Chunk" escaped his yard and chased after me while I walked Greyson and Lucy this morning. A thread:— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
Twitter user Cherie Priest chronicled her experience with the cute Pomeranian and his concerned owner, when Chunk escaped from his yard and decided to chase after her and her two big dogs.
The story is hilarious, thanks to Chunk's human's colorful language.
"You get your fat furry ass back here, Chunk! You know what you are? You are BRUNCH when those dogs catch you!"— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
Chunk didn't seem to heed his owner's exhortations.
But that didn't stop her from bearing down on him with all sorts of wonderful expressions.
"THEY ARE GONNA EAT YOU! DON'T DO IT! I LOVE YOU, CHUNK, GET BACK HERE!"— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
Did Chunk really understand how small he was compared to the other dogs?
"YOU ARE A SNACK! A MOTHERFUCKING SNACK!"— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
It seems like he didn't. His owner then faced the same exasperation all people who inexplicably loves someone and they go and do something crazy: convincing themselves that they shouldn't feel bad if something bad were to happen to them.
"AND I'M NOT EVEN GONNA BE MAD ABOUT IT, BECAUSE IT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT YOU FAT LITTLE FERRET IN A BEAR SUIT!"— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
But then reality sets in: we all love that metaphoric Chunk come hell or high water.
"NAW, I'M JUST LYIN'. COME BACK, CHUNK! I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE A SNACK! YOU'RE MY LITTLE SNACK! MOMMA LOVES YOU! COME TO MOMMA!"— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
Then Chunk went and did what his owner was afraid he'd do: he ran up on the big dogs even though she explicitly told him not to.
"FOR CHRISSAKE CHUNK DON'T DO IT! DON'T RUN UP ON THAT LADY! DON'T RUN UP ON THOSE DOGS!"— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
She was crestfallen.
"OH GOD I CAN'T LOOK"— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
When Cherie tried to alleviate her fears, it was of no consolation to Chunk's owner.
ME: "IT'S OKAY! YOU CAN LOOK! THEY WON'T HURT HIM, THEY LIKE LITTLE DOGS!" (this woman was down the block, on the other side of the street, incoming)— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
WOMAN: "YOU DON'T KNOW THE LITTLE SHIT LIKE I DO! HE'LL BITE THEIR ANKLES AND THEY'LL SNACK HIM!"
Who, if it hasn't been made clear to you yet, has just as big of a personality as her little dog.
"HE'S A HORRIBLE LITTLE SHIT AND I LOVE HIM, PLEASE DON'T LET THEM EAT HIM!"— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
Cherie's dogs took to Chunk quite well and soon, a pissing contest ensued.
Lucy: [IS 100% HERE FOR THIS NEW GAME]— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
Chunk: [BEGINS PEEING ON EVERYTHING WITHIN REACH]
Greyson: [IS ALSO A BOY DOG AND EVERYONE KNOWS THE LAST BOY-DOG TO PEE ON THE SPOT WINS]
Chunk: [IS UP FOR THE CHALLENGE]
Lucy: [STILL JUST WANTS TO PLAY WITH HER NEW LITTLE FRIEND]
And there was lots and lots and lots of pee. It was everywhere.
Me: [140-pounds of woman attempting to corral approximately 200 pounds of dog while approximately 5 pounds of dog weaves between her feet looking for fresh things to pee on]— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
Also me: [gets feet peed on]
It inevitably got on little Chunk.
Chunk's Momma: [arrives, out of breath] [scoops up Chunk] [hugs Chunk tightly] [realizes Chunk is now spattered in pee, some of it not his own] [quite reasonably sets Chunk back down on the ground] "DEAR GOD."— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
Which resulted in a fate for Chunk that we can safely assume isn't one he'll be particularly fond of.
Me: "Yeah, sorry about that."— Cherie Priest (@cmpriest) May 23, 2018
Her: "No, I'm sorry - and he deserves the fuck out of the bath he's about to get."
While it might seem like an amusing, yet exhausting ordeal for any human to overcome, Cherie's dogs were all smiles.
Anytime there's peeing and other friendly puppers involved, it's a good day for a dog.