Getting married is stressful, and I get that if you're throwing a party that's supposed to mark what is supposed to be the most important day of your life, you're going to want things to go off without a hitch.
You want it to be magical, you want it to be epic, you want people to have a good time and you want it to feel like a fairy tale. Which means you need to be cutthroat, and sometimes, you need to be mean.
But there's a difference between being tough and being a bridezilla. And the stories from the bridesmaids in this AskReddit thread pretty much prove that point.
1. The dye job.
Bride was blonde. All bridesmaids except for me were brunette. She asked me to dye my hair brown for the wedding because she, “wanted to be the only blonde.” I suggested that instead I just give up my bridesmaid spot. Thankful to this day since I heard the dresses and bachelorette party cost all the other girls more money than I make in a month.
2. Sorry for your scary pregnancy, but...
I was almost in a bridezilla wedding... I had an ectopic pregnancy (baby attached to my tube, which then burst, and I almost bleed to death).. She got engaged shortly following my ectopic. When she asked me to be her bridesmaid, she told me that I would be required to wait to try to have another baby until after her wedding in 1.5 years. Not because there would be a small child at the wedding, not even because she didn’t want me fat at her wedding... But because if I lost another child, it would take away from her engagement and wedding. I was so shocked I just declined and have never spoken to her since.
3. How dare your father die.
My dad had the audacity to die six weeks before the wedding, and she couldn't understand why that superseded her wedding details for me. I met my husband at her wedding, haven't spoken to her since.
4. All these sick dads, what gives?
Not a bridesmaid, but my mom was a wedding photographer for many years. Long story short, the father of the bride had a heart attack and as he was being carried out on the stretcher the sobbing bride yells, "How could you ruin my wedding like this?!!!?"
5. Taking out a loan to pay for a wedding.
She asked 16 girls to be bridesmaids. In the year and a half between the engagement and wedding, all but 6 dropped out (3 were her sisters). She wanted 16 separate shades of blue and 16 different styles of dresses for each bridesmaid then threw a fit when the store didn't have that many options. She demanded everyone pay for a week-long bachelorette party in Vegas (including her share) and then got mad when some people opted out (I was a single mom/college student at the time). Her parents gave her a $20,000 budget and she ended up spending $100k and demanding they pay for it. They took out a loan they are still paying off. She wanted everyone to have the same shade of hair so she asked the two blonde bridesmaids to dye their hair (they declined). She paid for nothing for the bridesmaids (traditionally the brides pay for something: the hair/makeup or the dress) but demanded we purchase specific shoes, jewelry, dress, etc. plus hair and makeup. And stay the entire weekend at the hotel she was getting married at. All told, costs for the wedding — not including a gift — was well over $2k per bridesmaid. This was mostly amongst college-age women in a poor/middle class area. She also had three separate engagement parties/bridal showers.
Final straw for me was when she demanded to see my toast a month prior so she could edit it. She ended up rewriting it totally.
I skipped the wedding totally and ended our friendship. They did end up getting married and 6+ years later, he seems absolutely miserable.
6. How dare my father die.
This was my sister’s wedding, so hold on tight. My sister had 10 bridesmaids. Most of them were her sorority sisters from college. They wanted to plan an elaborate weekend for the summer, while most of them were still in school without jobs. When I asked “Hey, who will pay for this?” my sister got pissed that I even asked. When I also reminded all the bridesmaids that our father who had stage-4 cancer wasn’t doing so well and that maybe the bachelorette/bridal shower should be close by, they all flipped thinking I was being insensitive to the bride.
I was promptly asked not to be a bridesmaid to my own sister’s wedding over these two things. I was fine with this as she was a bridezilla and I spent time with our dying father. He died two weeks after her wedding day, which he couldn’t attend because he was in hospice care one day before her wedding. To me, she put herself before our ailing father, and it still makes me mad.
7. The sanctity of bridesmaid dress shopping cannot be violated.
Bridesmaid to a bridezilla here. The bride spent a lot of time crying and carrying on whenever she didn’t get her way because “it was her wedding and we should all do exactly what she wanted.” Which is not to say we didn’t, we sure did. She wanted everyone to justify her irrational and horrible behavior because it was all about her. She didn’t enjoy it much when I told her she was wrong for kicking someone out of her bridal party, terminating the friendship, and pitching a fit because a girl couldn’t make bridesmaid dress-shopping because she was sick and had to go to the hospital.
This is also coming from the same woman who got angry and didn’t speak to me for months because I didn’t come see her to congratulate her on her pregnancy when I was home on furlough for a week at Christmas.
8. Frugality schmugality.
It was a best friend of mine who was very frugal, so I figured she was going to have a reasonable wedding and bachelorette party. I had shared my monetary concerns with her too, that I worked and went to school and couldn’t take off much time. She didn’t have that many friends so it was only me and one other girl as bridesmaids. She asked us to hand-make ALL her decorations for the wedding (I put in 15 hours a week hand-making decorations, all outside of working and going to school full-time).
Then she planned a week-long bachelorette party out of town, also asking us to foot the bill, not to mention our dresses, which I wanted to find something affordable (but she picked designer matching dresses that we had to pay for...never worn it again, been trying to sell it online).
I spent nearly 1k on the whole ordeal, not to mention I did her hair and makeup for free for the wedding. I just felt largely taken advantage of and unappreciated. We are no longer friends because we ended up working together (after the wedding) and she tried to screw me over at work. It all makes me very reluctant to agree to be in someone’s wedding again, even someone I thought would be considerate of everyone else’s budget and time.
9. Ruining a bunch of relationships for $1,500.
The short story is that she lied.
She lied to the venue about the number of guests that were attending. Effectively packing us like sardines.
She lied about having a "day-of" staff. That meant that all the dates of the bridesmaids spent the day hanging flowers, running to get kegs and waters, pouring the champagne for guests, setting up the entire venue the day before.
She lied to the hair and makeup personnel about the number of people who were obtaining services in order to get them to come to the site. This forced guests to get hair and makeup done in order for "the bride not to have to be charged extra."
She lied to the catering about the number of guests, this caused them to run out of food and alcohol.
All in all, I think her lies saved her $1500, but cost her close friendships, as her attitude toward the whole situation was indignation instead of being apologetic.
10. Too big for the bridesmaid dresses.
I didn’t make it to the wedding. I was best friends with the woman, literally we did everything together. She assembled her wedding party and didn’t invite me. She threw me my bachelorette, witnessed my marriage, etc. I found out later I wasn’t invited because I was overweight and her mother thought that would limit bridesmaid dress choices and throw the wedding photos ‘off.’ At least I know dodged a bullet.
11. Nothing a little blow won't fix.
Bride had two weddings. Pretty different financial backgrounds between us and I was a friend of the groom's that became a friend during their engagement. She had one wedding in the local state she grew up and one destination wedding a month later. She couldn't decide which dress to get, so she bought three. I was maid of honor at the local event and supposed to be in the destination wedding. Had to overdraw my bank account to attend and cover expenses so I was really a bit in awe at all the extravagances. It was a 3-hour ceremony with two venue changes "I want what I want!"and "it's my day!" "I have people for that!" Still ringing in my ears just thinking of it. She spent 60k in credit card debt on her perfect day(s) which she told me the day before she had not [told] the groom. The best part was when she was in her second wedding dress change, she started to scream about how things weren't exactly what she wanted.
Standing there half-dressed and drunk yelling about how the cake wasn't perfect (3k cake that was transported from another state was slightly smushed on the back side from hours of travel). The whole bridal party was just standing there in the hallway waiting to take pictures. I told her to shut up, said I wasn't going to come to wedding in Ireland, reminded her that her hundreds of guests could hear her [being] drunk, and fixed her bustle. She was such a little tantrum throwing [turd].
At the end of the Irish dancing groups, the toasts, and her wedding dance (that was choreographed) her PAID wedding planner offered to give me cocaine for putting up with such a spoiled [brat]. The lady did it loudly in front the an aunt who later told the bride. Yeah, it sucked. She is a great girl too, just a terrible bride and drunk.
12. Multi-level marketing scheme.
Friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in her shotgun wedding that was to take place in a little over a month. She has us order semi-expensive dresses and they HAD to be altered to a certain length. Shoes had to be ordered. Toenails had to be painted neutral color and fingernails had to be French manicured. We weren’t allowed to paint our own nails — we HAD to get them done at a salon. Hair HAD to be done professionally by her hairstylist. And we were not, under any circumstance, to have bikini tan lines visible. Mind you, this was right after summer. I lived in an area where beach attire was usually the only attire and everyone had visible tan lines.
I eventually had to tell her that I could not afford to have everything done professionally with such short notice. I would be happy to do my hair and makeup. My hair was so short I couldn’t do an updo. She told me her mom could pay and then I could pay her back. That was the final straw.
I sent an email to her telling her I could no longer be in her wedding. She was pregnant, about to get hitched, and now I was adding to her list of problems. I valued the friendship and told her such, but just couldn’t do what she was asking.
I hadn’t heard from her for YEARS. Until one day she sent me a message, asking for me to buy from her multilevel marketing campaign.
13. This astute observation.
Not a bridezilla story, but I was in three weddings in the span of one year and one interesting thing I noticed was that there is always one bridesmaid that the bride stops being friends with after the wedding. You can start to see which bridesmaid it's gonna be about halfway through the engagement.
14. Etsy dresses.
My first job out of college, a colleague got engaged and asked three colleagues to be her bridesmaids (in addition to one friend from high school). I had only known her for a matter of months, but I didn't feel comfortable saying no because she was one of my bosses.
In addition to being in a wedding for someone I barely knew, which is [crappy] in its own right, there were so many horrible things about this nightmare bridezilla wedding. First, I ended up hosting both her bachelorette AND her shower because no one in her life planned anything, and she showed up to her own shower an hour late, hungover and wearing pajamas when she mandated that everyone dress for a luncheon.
She ordered our dresses from Etsy (as opposed to any bridesmaid dress company) and they looked like seafoam green raw silk pillowcases with holes cut for the arms and head. They tied in giant bows in the back and we all looked like literal infants. She wouldn't let us wear heels with said "dresses" because the groom was kinda short and we all had to buy new flats in a specific shade of gold. She wanted us to wear our hair in a really ugly, extremely complicated updo -- and said we would have to pay to have one of the hairstylists do our hair (we refused).
The wedding was on a Sunday in an extremely inconvenient and faraway location, and it was not the Sunday of a long weekend. The rehearsal dinner for this SUNDAY wedding was THURSDAY and started at 4 in the afternoon, requiring everyone to leave work in the middle of the day. She forced us to stay at an expensive hotel in the area the night before the wedding for no apparent reason and refused to pay for our hotel room.
15. Bipolar mom bridezilla.
My mom was the bride, she didn't have bridesmaids but I (her daughter) was going to walk her down the aisle.
I've had purple or blue hair for quite some time, and I checked almost a year in advance with my mom that it would be okay for my hair to be blue for the wedding. Checked again every few months, every time I was told to stop insinuating that she was a bridezilla, of course my hair was fine.
Two weeks before the wedding, my own mother threatened to disinvite me from the wedding if I didn't fix my hair. So I went and got it done, came home and my mother told me I was shallow for changing my hair to keep up appearances. Sigh. Getting it re-dyed back to blonde cost me over $300.
16. The Best Lady.
I was the maid of honor. I helped plan the whole wedding, I went to all the awkward parties with family members I had never met. I was close with the bride and groom, not their families. The whole time we were planning she kept talking about being a bridezilla like it was an inevitable phase she would go through.
[Great work] all the way to the end. She suddenly decided that her sister needs to be the only one involved, but I can still be the maid of honor. She calls me the day of the bridal shower and asks why I wasn't there and insists she told me the date. She hadn't. She fires me on the spot and I don't talk to her again until a few days before the wedding.
She tells me that I can still come but she had asked one of her husband's ex-girlfriends, someone she didn't know to be her new maid of honor. Day before the wedding she asks me to be the usher. Says I can show people to their seats, the gift table, the bathroom. I didn't attend the wedding.
This last year I was my friend's "Best Lady" which means I stood on the man's side. Everyone helped set the wedding up, it was a blast. I declared myself his shield maiden and spent the entire time protecting him from everything, even a few birds in a bush.
17. Let's snap photos in 10-degree weather.
I was in a wedding where the bride planned two separate bachelorette weekends for herself and got mad at anyone who couldn’t/wouldn’t spend two 3-day weekends at ~$500/each away from their husbands/kids/jobs.
The week leading up to the wedding, the temp for the big day was forecast to be a high of 10*F (February wedding, NE U.S.). Bride was insisting on outdoor photos without coats “because we can’t hide the dresses!” Everyone, including the photographer, tells her hell no. Day of she pitches a fit when we refused to do more than one quick photo.
Afterwards, she stopped talking to 75 percent of the bridal party because of their refusal to accommodate her outrageous demands. To this day, years later, she still complains about how her bridesmaids ruined her wedding.
18. I want you to wear white but it can't be too white.
Not a bridesmaid, but a witness to one.
The bride got walked out on by her entire bridle party, except her maid of honor. Of course it was because no one loved her, and everyone wanted to ruin her day, not because she ripped a bridesmaid's dress from the neck down, in an open area, because it was too white ... It was the dress the bride insisted on all the maids wearing.
19. No purses!
Loads of little things adding up, two things I remember standing out.
She started with the turbo crazy at her hen do, it cost over 400 pounds to spend a 3-day weekend away. That's not unreasonable in itself, but rather than appreciate the effort everyone made, she came back from night two screaming her head off that one of the girls was a "miserable [witch]" for coming back from a club an hour earlier than the rest of the hens because she wasn't feeling comfortable in the big crowd. She said she would make her pay... And then gloated on the eve of the wedding that she had put her on a table with a very attractive girl because she knew she was insecure about her looks and wanted her to feel self-conscious as punishment for the early dart three months earlier...?
Spoke to me like absolute [witch] the whole run up to the wedding. Then pitched a fit at me in front of the whole bridal party because I had the nerve to bring a bag with my purse/car keys in it after she had mandated we were all to leave our stuff at her house...with no way of picking it up as she and the groom were staying in a hotel that night. I was the only bridesmaid with no significant other to give that stuff to so would have been stranded at the venue without it. Made me see how vile a person she is and our friendship is now over following her pulling some even more crazy [crap] a few months later. Just a shame I wasted so much energy on her over the years.
20. Go into debt for my wedding or you're a bad friend.
My best friend just got kicked out of being a bridesmaid because she couldn't spend the $1500 to go to the bachelorettes party, all the other costs were killing her. The bride told her to take out a credit card to pay for it. One of our friends made the best comment over the situation, "She (the bride) just did you the best favor ever kicking you out of the bridal party."
21. Cut it out.
Picked $400 bridesmaid dresses. Destination bachelorette that cost over $1200. Insisted on a super expensive spot for the bridal shower. Registered at Williams Sonoma. I was a college student with limited funds. But managed to pay for all this crap and give a gift.
Bonus points: Her husband forgot his entire tux and didn't figure this out until a few hours before the ceremony.
A few minutes before the ceremony, when she screamed at me for like the 500th time that day, I snapped and told her either she cut her [crap] or I was getting in my car and going home.
She cut her [crap]. The rest of it went fine.
22. No more photography for you.
My wife got roped into doing the photos for her stepsister's wedding. Normally my wife would charge between $4000 and $6000 for this, and we were flying across the country to attend this wedding mostly out of family obligation. So bride was getting an amazing deal. Over the course of six months, bride becomes incredibly hateful on social media, constantly starting drama, was [rude] in her save the dates, changed venue and locations several times. We knew it was going to be a [mess] but we’d committed so we bought our plane tickets and planned to come.
Week before the wedding bride goes totally psycho and posts nasty awful things about half of her wedding party, including my wife. So we decide to cancel the photography and not attend the wedding, wasn’t worth it anymore. Bride's own mother was so ashamed of her behavior that she didn’t attend either. All total they had 8 people at their wedding, and only got cellphone pictures. We had a nice little vacation and visited a lot of friends in the area.
23. You can't sit down, even if you're undergoing chemo.
She wouldn’t let our friend who was on chemo to sit down after they all walked down the aisle.
This has gotten a lot more attention than I ever expected. Let me add more. B for bride. F for friend.
F had very aggressive breast cancer that she battled for 2 years. One of her doctors in Texas was charged with attempted murder for trying to poison a colleague, so she was going through a very hard time. Google Texas oncologist poisoning.
B is a “me me me me” type of person that has a controlling husband and doesn’t do anything without him.
Immediately after the wedding, B finds out her new MIL also got breast cancer, but her prognosis was not bad at all. F was going to treatment in Texas, Boston, Chicago, etc just to try to beat it. When she found out that the experimental treatments weren’t working for her, she wanted her best friend, B, to provide some support. B told her to “try to understand” why she couldn’t.... because her MIL also had BC. B cut contact. Wouldn’t call back, respond to texts, nothing.
After we heard from F’s husband that they no longer were in contact, we also cut contact with B and her new husband. Everything she did.... or didn’t do, was enough for us.
We got a call one day from F’s husband. The call made it seem as though F was ready to see people but it would be in the hospital. We went there, super happy to finally see her. When we got there, we saw people we never met crying and that’s all it took for us to know it was F dying. We were there to send her off. I ended up with a nasty staph infection in my hand from the hospital.
Her funeral was a week later. That was when I texted B a nasty message about what a [bad] friend she had been and that I hoped she was happy that she didn’t get to say she was sorry or goodbye to her so-called best friend. Mind you, I had know F for about 3 years and rarely saw her. F was an oncology nurse, go figure. She told her husband that I was one of the only ones that would reach out to her and ask her how she was doing when B wouldn’t even reply to a text.
B showed up to the viewing. I flipped her off and told her to stop acting. I actively hate her.
I said it up top and I'll say it again: there's no way you're in love if you're getting married and are an honest-to-goodness monstrous bridezilla like these peeps. Yeesh.