It's nearly impossible to go out nowadays. Everything is expensive and while the price of fun goes up, our paychecks stay the same age. And while this is a vaguely depressing thought, I'm here to tell you there are still ways you can treat yourself.
Just ask Jazmin, who goes by @excuse.me.honey on TikTok. She has found a way to cut corners and pinch pennies all while enjoying a nice semi-warm cocktail. Her hidden flask disguised as a breast implant is taking social media by storm! This is a real treasure chest except the pirates aren't looking for booty, just booze.
A hidden flask disguised as a breast implant. What will they think of next?
While Jazmin didn't make the hidden breast implant flasks, she certainly found them. She's like the Indiana Jones of secret liquor stashes except these don't belong in a museum.
After she frees the fake boob flasks from their packaging, Jazmin holds them up to the camera. My first thought is they look like two tiny whoopie cushions. Obviously no one should sit on these unless that's what they're into.
Next she chooses the spirit that will be occupying the faux knockers, and decides to go with a blanco tequila. That's an excellent decision because it's high-end and smooth. It's also a fun summer liquor. For some reason I can't imagine sipping on a bourbon under the blistering sun.
Now this is the fun part because if you've always wanted a bigger bust, this is probably the most hilarious way to achieve that. Jazmin is pretty conservative when filling up the flasks but I think I would head straight for a D, as in drink.
Great news, Jazmin's bag and extra bags (*wink*) made it through security. She was able to successfully pull them out of her bra in order to take a quick swig before adding it to her drink of choice. She probably saved 40 bucks that day, which is basically half a drink at any event.
Need more hidden flask ideas? Check the comments!
"I just used the umbrella flask I got from Amazon at a Phillies game yesterday," said one TikToker. "It holds a little more than half a bottle!!!" That seems like a lot of alcohol for one game but maybe their team lost.
Another chimed in with their own DIY flask: "I did this but with the kids' apple sauce pouches. I emptied it out and filled it with patron ... these festivals be taxing for no reason." I'm all for recycling, and what is this if not an effort to save our planet?
If breast implants aren't your thing, try these other secret flasks!
The internet always provides, especially when it comes to weird hacks and gadgets and gizmos aplenty. A search of "hidden flasks for liquor" on Amazon yields some interesting results. You can squirrel your spirits away in anything from a fake sunscreen bottle to a hollow hairbrush!
Over on Etsy things take a slightly more decorative turn with a comically large bracelet that doubles as a reasonably sized flask! If you're asking yourself why stop at a bracelet when you can have a whole bag, then grab the PortoVino Wine Messenger Bag. I think the message is: Drink responsibly and don't drive home.