The office potluck is an opportunity for everyone to come together over some guacamole and pizza. The office potluck is not an opportunity to poison everyone you hate in the office by bringing raw chicken and a deep fryer to make some wings on the spot.
Twitter user @caveofbeauty recently took to Twitter to live tweet an experience that seems more like a sketch from The Office than reality. It all begins with her sharing a photo of a bag full of raw chicken one of her coworkers brought to work.
And yes, he even brought his deep fryer to stink out the rec-room with the smell of chicken wings for all of eternity. But it gets worse. He didn't bring any seasoning.
Why would anyone think of doing something like this?!
"This has gone entirely too far," @caveofbeauty explains in a further tweet. "First he had salmonella brewing in the air with the open bag of raw chicken."
"Now he’s touching it with his bare hands. SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE."
But yes, this situation can somehow get even worse. She goes on to explain that after handing the raw chicken with bare hands, the coworker started touching everything.
"I’m literally shaking rn," she continues. "I need my inhaler. He’s just casually walking around the room touching things after touching RAW CHICKEN. This entire place is contaminated. Oh my god."
I’m literally shaking rn. I need my inhaler. 💀💀 he’s just casually walking around the room touching things after touching RAW CHICKEN. This entire place is contaminated. Oh my god.— Your Skincare Fav (@caveofbeauty) March 8, 2019
At least one person seemed to be okay with everything that was going down.
Another coworker: “wow I appreciate you going out of your way”— Your Skincare Fav (@caveofbeauty) March 8, 2019
Raw chicken guy: “ehh, it’s what I love to do!”
PLS STOP DOING IT 💀💀
His method for making sure they were done? Not cutting them open like any sane person.
Update: He just bit into one to see if it’s cooked. It’s still raw.— Your Skincare Fav (@caveofbeauty) March 8, 2019
STOP. @caveofbeauty explains how she avoided actually having to eat some of his chicken.
He keeps offering me the salmonella and I’m downing pizza slices just to say I’m full. I don’t even eat pizza anymore. I’ve had 3 slices. In 20 minutes.— Your Skincare Fav (@caveofbeauty) March 8, 2019
But not everyone was so lucky.
I’m watching natural selection happen in real time.— Your Skincare Fav (@caveofbeauty) March 8, 2019
Apparently the wings proved pretty popular, though. The guy soon came back with a second bag of raw chicken.
To top things off, this is only her third week on the job.
For reference, it’s my third week here. Everything has been going great so far. Dope environment/culture. Dope people. Great pay. Great benefits. But....this. I can’t move past this 💀— Your Skincare Fav (@caveofbeauty) March 8, 2019
How is this not a human resources violation?
"My coworker had to leave early because she’s sick," @caveofbeauty added later in the day. "He offered to make more tomorrow and I immediately said 'no today was enough!' And he laughed it off but sir I’m being serious."
And here's what might be the worst part...
I forgot to tell y’all the worst part lmao. To sauce the wings, he was putting them in Tupperware and instead of tossing them....— Your Skincare Fav (@caveofbeauty) March 8, 2019
He turned them.
With his bare fingers.
And licked his fingers a few times to get the sauce off. Then continued on with putting sauce on the rest.
If you're not feeling queasy after reading all this, something is wrong with you.