You don't normally see a missing pet poster for a hamster. Either not many hamsters escape their cages or if they do, their owners think they're probably lost causes. They're very tiny, after all.
So when Tiger Webb came across a poster for a missing hamster named Hamish, he had to take a picture and share it with the world. But that poster was only the beginning of Hamish's journey.
"Have you seen Hamish?" the poster reads. It's accompanied by a suspiciously perfect hamster photo, which led some to believe that this is all a joke. But nevertheless, we instantly became invested in Hamish the Hamster.
"Mature male hamster, brown and black fur, white belly, slight limp," the poster continues. "Last seen junction of Peel St. and Carabella St., morning of September 3. Won't answer to name but loves pumpkin seeds. Generally friendly but may nip if cornered. Modest cash reward for information leading to his recapture. Please call or text distraught owner."
Although the photo seems suspect, the plea seems genuine. Maybe Hamish is a real lost pet hamster after all. It's got to be tough being a teeny tiny hamster out in the gig ol' world, trying to make your way. Luckily, it wasn't long before an updated poster appeared.
What an incredible update! Hamish has been found. I'm so glad the owners posted this because clearly there were so many people invested in finding Hamish.
"After almost three frantic weeks I'm delighted to report that our beloved hamster has been found alive and well. Far from running away from home, as we feared, it seems he just wanted some 'Hamish time' under the fridge.
"Apart from being slightly undernourished, he seems to be in excellent spirits, and within minutes of returning to his cage had resumed his daily workout regimen in his wheel. Phew!"
"Phew!" indeed! I'm sure we can all relate to Hamish needing a temporary escape from the world. And I'm so glad he was found relatively unscathed. Three entire weeks under the fridge couldn't have been fun. Now, you'd think this would be the end of the story, right? Hamish the Hamster was lost, his owners fretted about finding him, and now, he's been found. But Hamish's story is not over yet.
I cannot get over the final update to this story. "Hamish — we need to talk..." Too funny. "Hamish," it reads, "we need to have a chat regarding your three-week vacation under the 'fridge.' My precious Petunia, who has never felt the warm embrace of another man, fell pregnant around this time and has just birthed a litter of hamsters that look remarkably like you.
"Whilst this is miraculous and can border on the side of divine given how innocent she is, I suspect you may have had something to do with it. I didn't want to believe it at first as I thought Petunia and yourself would be above the nasty stereotype of hamsters being rather amorous, but it appears I was wrong.
"Guess it serves me right for watching 50 Shades of Gray in the same room as her. If you are indeed the father, please come forward and take responsibility. Petunia is a single mother and feeding four babies on a diet of the pumpkin seeds you love so much is getting expensive. At the very least, some sawdust would be appreciated. I'll be awaiting your reply."
Is the story of Hamish the hamster — runaway to absent father — real? Did this person just completely make it up? Or did Hamish really knock up Petunia and then try to run away to leave her to be a single parent? We may never know. But does it matter? No. Because it's entertaining. And we'll take a smile where we can get it these days.