High School Teacher Says "We're Failing Our Boys" by Allowing Them to Be Offensive
"These kids need to be shamed."
Updated Dec. 3 2024, 10:22 a.m. ET
Content warning: This story mentions rape.
Over the past five years or so, many would argue there's been a noticeable shift in the way younger generations — particularly boys and young men — behave. It has only been exacerbated by the social isolation brought of COVID-19 and highlighted in the wake of Donald Trump's recent reelection, with the popularity of the phrase "Your body, my choice" with middle and high school students.
Now, one high school teacher is speaking out to rally his fellow educators together to put a stop to the offensive and hurtful behavior of male students before they become adults. His message? We need to bring back public shaming.
Here's what he had to say.
High school teacher: "We're failing our boys."
In a Nov. 14 TikTok, a Florida high school teacher named Austin (@awillmakeit) used his platform to spread an important message to his fellow educators: As the "last line of defense" before young boys become men and go out into the real world, teachers are partially responsible for shaping them into empathetic, respectful humans.
"As a high school teacher, this last week has really shown me that we are failing our boys pretty hard," he said. "I really do feel like a part of our job is making sure that these kids are socialized and ... respectful of just being in public when they graduate."
He continued, citing a wave of "18- to 25-year-old men" who are "lonely," "incredibly crass," and consistently making offensive, harmful comments, often disguised as jokes, at the expense of those around them — in particular, girls and women.
"They make jokes that are not funny," he said. "At least, the subject matter isn't funny. The joke, the punchline, is rape ... death, murder, it's harm, it's racism." He continued, positing that the behavior starts right in the classroom, under the noses of their teachers, and in the presence of their equally impressionable and attention-desperate buddies.
The problem is that they aren't facing enough pushback from those around them, Austin theorizes.
"When I, as a teacher, say something to them and go, 'Hey, what the h--- are you doing?' ... They don't have an answer. They don't even seem to recognize why I'm even questioning them. They don't have pushback."
He went on to recount a recent encounter he had with one of his students in the hallway. When he overheard the boy making an offensive "joke," he stopped him and asked, "What's funny about that?"
In response, Austin said the boy "gave [him] the dirtiest look and flicked [him] off" before running away into another classroom because he didn't know how to handle being confronted.
"These kids need to be shamed," he said.
He continued, "I know that's not something we really talk about, but the idea of public shaming has always been a thing that humans have done to make sure that social stuff works. And right now, we're not shaming these boys. ... They feel like they can do and say whatever they want."
Of course, the word "shame" is a polarizing one, leading some viewers to oppose his suggestion. However, in an exclusive chat with Distractify, Austin clarified his intentions.
"I'm advocating for direct, public confrontation of these behaviors in a way that gets these boys to question their actions," he said. "They aren't forced to do any introspection when you simply tell them to knock it off when you write them up."
He continued, "The generations of 'boys will be boys'-type excuses ... are now being used to justify boys screaming rape jokes in girls' faces. Parents are too busy struggling through work, trying to pay bills, that their boys aren’t getting the guidance they so desperately need right now and instead are left to fester in an online space that is openly unapologetic and brash."
"It truly is a cesspool of a climate that they are being raised in, and the unfortunate truth is that while these boys may be suffering, they are exhibiting that suffering through the torture of their classmates and teachers."
Austin has called on his fellow male teachers to do better.
Toward the end of his self-proclaimed "yap session," Austin, who is also a high school cross-country running coach, called on male teachers to make changes to the way they approach these situations.
"This is really for, in my opinion, the male teachers out there," he said. "It is our responsibility to show them what being a man looks like. ... It's not making crass jokes, it's not making girls feel bad, it's not laughing at people when they're down. It's being helpful. It's building people up. It's about being supportive. It's about being a rock when somebody needs it."
To his fellow male educators, he said, "Me and you, we have to be the ones to be in their face and go, 'You're being a bad person right now. ... I don't know why you're choosing that. It's not good, it's not right. Stop doing that."
If you need support, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or visit RAINN.org to chat online one-on-one with a support specialist at any time.