Planning a wedding can be an absolute nightmare. There are just so many things that can go wrong: from the caterer messing up your food orders, to your photographer being drunk, to your ex crashing your wedding and doing everything in their power to stop you from following through on your vows.
Even if everything does go off without a hitch and the wedding's incredible, there's then the question of "happily ever after" not being so happy, but that's neither here nor there.
There's something inherently hilarious about trying to maintain an air of "class" for an antediluvian tradition that was originally instituted in order to unite different kingdoms and hold nepotistic fiefdoms in place.
Yeah, marriages are supposed to be devotions of everlasting love, but I'd wager that you're probably more keen to stay in love with someone when there isn't a certificate of authenticity keeping you joined at the hip with them and handing you a one-way-ticket to comfortsville.
But people still forge ahead in booking banquet halls where lukewarm chicken francese is served in stainless steel buffet trays and your throngs of guests are wishing that cocktail hour lasted just a little bit longer.
And while much can be said about the many problems that could occur during the actual wedding, it seems that one couple didn't even get to the celebration part before things started going awry.
They had problems the second they had their RSVP cards printed.
It's pretty common for these cards to not only allow people to know if they're attending their wedding (heads aren't cheap, you know) but to also put down what they intend on eating at said event.
This couple gave their guests three options: Beef, Chicken, or Child (12 and under).
While one can assume that the "Child" option surely meant that the kids would receive a piping hot plate of chicken fingers and french fries, people took it as children were actually being served at the wedding.
OK, obviously no one really thought that, unless they read Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal quite literally (imagine the dude was really all about eating babies and was actually Pennywise in disguise?).
The card was uploaded to Reddit and of course tons of people began to dogpile in the comments section to make the same exact joke.
Well, not the same exact one, but all of the punchlines had something to do, more or less, with eating kids.
Some folks decided to use it as a chance to further knock on red-headed folks.
Others used it as an opportunity to lampoon dietary restrictions.
Others began to reference classic literary figures, like Hansel and Gretel. Trust me though, and any witch will tell you this: dining on kids with diets of pure sugar will give you the runs.
There were dad jokes, too. Reddit user MethodMZA quipped, "I'll have the baby back ribs."
Surprisingly, no one has made a Drake Bell reference as of yet, asking whether or not the former child star was invited to the wedding.
You knew that there were some Muslims in the house when someone stipulated "Halal kids only."
The best worst joke to come out of it? "What about Kung Pao children."
That person has to be a dad, which is troubling, but then again, so is listing children as a menu option at your wedding. Congratulations to the happy couple!